The Office

I hope you all had a great Christmas! I know I did!

So, because I'm kinda sick about talking about Christmas, I'm going to go ahead and talk about what I did last night. So for the past few days, my brother and I have been watching The Office nonstop. I got the first three seasons and we've been particularly following this one couple and pretty much screaming at the TV for them to get together. Well last night, my brother was watching his new Simpsons episodes, so I was in a different room watching The Office. And all of a sudden, the guy from the couple just like proclaimed his love for her in the middle of the parking lot. I sat there dumbfounded and I just wanted to rip my hair out b/c she couldn't return the feelings because she's getting married!!! Then, he sees her again in the office after hours and without saying anything, he just goes up and kisses her. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen as far as TV goes. But then they still didn't get together and he transfered himself into a different office. I was really upset.

I think the best thing about this couple is the fact that they actually talk. They are, like, best friends and talk about pretty much everything. I don't think a lot of girls realize that guys can be the best friends if you give them a chance. And they won't always turn into something more, and I think that's the beauty of it. You don't always have to worry about having to deal with dressing up or looking good because they don't care. But if there is something, then the couple gets to know each other better then if they just started going out. I made that mistake with my last boyfriend and I'm not making it again.

God, I felt like I was dying last night...

Not exactly sure why I felt this way,

Tay

PS; I'll probably end up deleting this later when I'm thinking more clearly, considering I just got up.

Happy Christmas Eve!

I'm off to church! The one night of the year we actually go and I am super excited! A good friend of mine that now goes to an all boys private school goes there, so I'm hoping to see him there! (yeah Claire, it's our french buddy from homecoming) I feel pretty weird though because I have to wear this brown skirt and this cream colored sweater. I like the outfit, I just don't like wearing stockings. They itch and are very irritating.

Anyway, just so all of you are aware, tonight is also a full moon, so be on the look out for strange occurrences, such as unexplained behaviors and small miracles. I just wish all of these clouds weren't covering it up. I was so looking forward to stepping out of my church and seeing that full moon the whole ride home... ah well. Sometimes things don't always go as planned, right? So we just have to role with the punches. I also can't wait to feel the great vibes I get from my church. It's like every time I walk into that building, I feel safe and more relaxed. I hope that once I move out of Ohio after graduation, I'll find a town that makes me feel that way too...

I hope all of you are enjoying your Christmas Eve's and that you have a safe and happy Christmas tomorrow!

Feeling that wondrous Christmas feeling,

Tay

Current Situation

Well, we're leaving soon. I told my brother about my plan and he didn't understand why. I laughed and just explained that I thought it was time for a change. Plus, making people feel guilty can be fun.

By the looks of the wind and snow outside, I say that we'll have a fun time getting there! Ah well. With my I Pod and my current daydream, I will survive, even if we're stuck in thirty miles of traffic.

I'm going to laugh, though, when my friend Gabe calls in the middle of dinner and all of a sudden, Paramore's 'Misery Business' starts blasting from my back pocket. He always has a knack for calling at the worst times. Either that, or it will be Claire or Kramer. Anyone actually would be appreciated, as we will most likely need some sort of conversation topic. LOL, I'm just kidding!

Feeling temporarily carefree,

Tay

Holiday Surprises

Today's the day. That 'wonderful' day in which I have vowed to be sugary sweet. Ug... Maybe I can just continue being my anti-social self... yeah right. Me and anti-social really don't go well together, and every time we get together, it gets harder and harder to stay shut up. Most of the time I just want to scream at them and smack a couple people, but I bottle it up and just continue either writing or sketching, just to take my mind off of it all. This year I'm going to leave my notebook, sketch book, and pencils at home. This year I will help distribute the gifts without fighting with my idiot cousin, I will help make dinner, and I will smile as though I know something that everyone else doesn't. My parents might ask why I'm smiling so, but I'll just respond that it's the holidays and that everyone should be smiling. Lets see them respond to that.

Determined to confuse people,

Tay

Getting In That Christmas Mood!

So after dinner tonight, I found out that we were planning on visiting our family friend who used to babysit my younger brother. I love going over there and they always are so nice. Every year, we give them a cookie plate and they give us small gifts in return. I'm super excited because I got a new cross! I needed one and was half tempted to ask for one for Christmas in the first place, but decided against it because I didn't want anyone to feel awkward about buying it! So I'm wearing it now and I absolutely love it! I don't ever want to take it off!

They were super nice, as usual, and we found out that her daughter is expecting a baby girl in February! I can't wait! I absolutely love babies and hope they ask me to babysit sometime.

Then, after visiting them, the four of us went and drove around looking at Christmas lights. We do this every year and we always look forward to it. My dad always plays odd Christmas music and we laugh and comment on all of the beautiful houses and the odd ones too. This year, we've noticed a depressing decrease in number of lights. It's like no one had enough time to celebrate the holidays this year. To me, that's just sad.

So that's my current mood. In twenty minutes it will probably change, so stand by!

Loving the holidays more and more,

Tay

Delayed Celebration

So apparently Gma's house is tomorrow instead, which is great because then today we get to do more shopping. It seems that this year, we knew that Christmas was coming soon, so it didn't sneak up on us, we just didn't have a lot of time to spend shopping and wrapping. So we're doing it all pretty last minute, even my mom who's been known to finish her Christmas shopping in July.

I'm pretty happy that all of my shopping is done. I still have to make cards, but I can do that tomorrow while I'm resisting the urge to pull my hair out of my scalp. Today I know my mom and I are going to be hunting down this unbelievably cool present for my dad, which will take at least two hours. Then I have to wrap more gifts from my dad to my mom. I'm not complaining about it, but I think he should help! Or maybe not now that I think about it...

I also have library books that I should probably read sometime before the end of break. And probably before Christmas, considering I asked for pretty much all books.

Anticipating a good read this Christmas,

Tay

On A Happier Note

Okay, so first I would like to give the biggest shout out in the history of forever to Jim! That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard! Thank you so much for always making my day! You truely always know how to make me smile! How do you do it?

So on the subject of my last post, I think everything will be okay. I know it will be a rough road getting to that point, but I truely believe that everything will be okay now. Things are slowly beginning to look up.

I got to wrap Christmas presents today for my mom and was super excited about it! All while I was little, I always loved wrapping presents more than opening them. I can't say the same about my brother who is always poking and pinching all of the wrapped goodies under the tree, not only his own, but everyone's in the family.

Tomorrow is Gma's Christmas where I see my mom's side of the family before she goes back to Florida. Unfortunately this also means that I have to see my uncle and his family who we can't really stand to be around. Ever since he and my mom stopped talking, he hasn't given two hoots about me or my brother, so I can't stand to be around him. But I got this idea that I'm not going to be my usual anti-social self that I normally am around them, but instead I'm going to be a sugary sweet, social, Christmas angel! Lets see them respond to that!

So because Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, I'm determined to have a cheery season, even if it means forgetting about all of the problems I'm supposed to be working out and dedicating myself intirely to preparing for Monday and Tuesday.

Determined to make these holidays happy,

Tay

Scared

I'm terrified. I think one of my friends is going into a scary depression and I don't know what I should do about it. I've already been through this with one of my other friends and it was one of the scariest things I've ever been through. I really hope this isn't the same thing as that, but if it is, I think I'm going to have to get help again. I'm practically in tears right now and if anyone could offer me some comfort, it would be greatly appreciated.

Trying really hard not let my tears fall,

Tay

Scripts and Tests and Quizzes, Oh My!

Today I have two quizzes and one test. I think the first quiz will be easy, the test kinda easy, and the last quiz kinda hard. I'll study in study hall and lunch and trust that I do well. I skimmed the material last night, so I'm sure I'll do at least okay. I do hate Science though! As soon as I thought that I actually understood something, he has to go and change it up! It's like Algebra all over again! You grasp one concept and then it just gets that much more complicated only a second later.

I got my script yesterday! I'm so excited! One of my newest friends and I have to pretty much have a cat fight over a dead guy! ..... and then apparently I'm kissed by this senior who's shorter than me and rides my bus. Thank GOD I don't have to kiss him on stage (or at all)! Yuck! But it's weird because our director won't give us the ending! She says she'll give it to us after break! It's one of those 'surprise ending' things. We all were like 'NOOO!!! HOW DOES IT END?!?!?!?!', but she still wouldn't tell us. Grr......

Hoping my studying paid off (for once),

Tay

Saved By The Best Friends

Thankfully, my two best friends saved me from the party and instead of being there, Claire and I went over to Kramer's house and danced and talked and ate pizza and just had fun. We talked for the longest time and it felt good. Really good. We talked about guys and we talked about our each current romantic situation (please don't ask about mine...) and what we were going to do about it (I still don't really know). We also discussed politics and religion and spirits (and my whole 'third eye' thing). I felt very talked out by the end of it.

Then Claire became my ride home, but before they dropped me off, we went to Rite Aid and looked through bridal magazines, discussing flowers, rings, and dresses. We pretty much planned our weddings, but don't worry. We're not planning on getting married any time soon.

So then all of my homework ended up being really easy to do and I felt really good last night.

The meeting after school went well I think. We discussed pretty much everything that had to do with our production. Turns out I pretty much know everyone in the play we're doing, so it should be fun. We get scripts today and I can't wait!

Feeling blessed,

Tay

Deep Breaths Everyone!

Two hour delay today, which is good b/c that might get my Geometry test postponed, but lets me get my script after school. Hopefully it won't cancel.......

So my mom's party was postponed until tonight (joy) so I've got to get all of my homework done in school, which I don't know how I'm going to do that when I haven't even finished the homework that is due today. That's normally what I use Study Hall for. And after that, I then work on homework for that night. Wish me luck.

I'm feeling kinda sick because I'm kinda nervous for getting my script. What if I can't do this? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I make a horrible first impression? *takes a deep breath* Okay, I'm better. *takes another deep breath*

So wish me luck surviving today! LOL!

Feeling kinda queasy,

Tay

Let's NOT Party!

So today my mom has her party which I have to help out with. It starts at four, but up until that point, I have a mountain of homework to do and like four rooms to clean. I also have to help my mom cook all of the food. Then, before the people get here, I have to change into a very warm sweater and probably a skirt (grrr....) and go through hell trying not to itch at my leggings and suffer through a bunch of women commenting on my hair, my height, my WEIGHT, and my age. "Now what grade are you in dearie?" And then I have to fight back a grumble and cheerfully as I can without sounding fake, I say, "Ninth." Then they all chuckle (for what reason I don't ever know. It's not like I said anything funny) and go on about what it was like to be in ninth grade, even though they probably don't even remember one thing about being a freshman.

At least there's a bunch of really good food.......

Dreading the rest of the day,

Tay

I Got Lead!!!!!!!!

I got Roxi!!! I actually got leading lady in my friend's play!!! I can't believe it! I mean, I think I did well in my auditions, but not that well! And the leading male part is being played by the same guy who had the lead in the fall musical! He's mister drama club, so it's no wonder he got the part, but I have had no drama experience what so ever, I didn't take the Drama 1 course this year because I didn't think I would have enough time, and I've been to, like, two out of the four drama club meetings that have occurred so far. So how did I get this part? Ah well, I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm great at memorizing and I really do love to act, so I believe I'll do fine.

And I'm oober excited because this guy who's playing the leading male part is like a super star to me and I got to meet him yesterday! It's kinda weird being a fan of someone who goes to the same school as you, but I am a HUGE fan of his. And he is so made for theater. You can just tell. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely DON'T have a crush on the guy. I mean, he's got a girlfriend (I think) and I've currently got my sights set on someone else (that's all you're getting from me!).

On that subject, I'm also promising not to talk about my current crushes and flirting until I get an actual boyfriend. There are too many people who know about this blog and who I really would rather not know. I'm pretty conservative about stuff like that.

So, back to One Acts, I'm also kinda bummed I got Roxi because technically, that was supposed to be Claire's part. I'm really sorry, again. And also the part I tried out for was taken my one of my newest best friends. I really do think this whole thing is going to end up being way more interesting than anyone is expecting.

So I'm going to my aunt's house today for lunch and some hanging out before she moves to California. I'm really bummed, but I do have her e-mail address (I hope she has Internet where she's going...) so I can still talk to her. I really do hope that she's happier there than she ever was here. A shout out goes to her for getting the courage to move away from this dreary town and let herself be happy... as long as she comes back and visits.

Anyway, so now I'm going to eat breakfast and I should probably work on homework (but I won't).

Impatiently awaiting Monday (we get our scripts Monday),

Tay

PS; I will find out your source (and reason) Jim! Why be so secretive? What's to hide?

Morning Jitters

I'm soooooooooooooooo nervous!!! In a matter of hours I'll know what part I have in One Acts!!! I really hope I get a good part! I love acting and memorizing lines!

So I also have to give a French presentation today that I'm kinda nervous about, but kinda not. I kinda sorta prepared, so I should be okay I think. More like, I hope.

Not much else going on this morning, but I'm sure there'll be a lot this afternoon. I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Eating a disgusting orange,

Tay

An Actual Good Thursday!

So today was one of the few Thursdays that I actually enjoyed! I got the results of my band auditions back and I got to Symphonic Band!!!! YEY!!!! I'm super excited as long as the music isn't hard and I'm NOT first chair!! I don't think I could handle being first chair in Symphonic Band. Way too much pressure.

Also today I found out that I did really well on my auditions for One Acts (thanks Jim for completely making my day with that!!!)!!!! So now I think I can actually act, something that I never thought to try before. I mean, I thought about it, but it was always someone else's thing. I was one of the writers, not one of the actors, but in highschool I guess you can be both! I can't wait to find out what part I got!

However, on the down side, I also found out that I might get the part my bestest friend is trying out for. I didn't even ask to be assigned that role! I feel really bad about it and I hope I don't get it, but if I do, I'M SO SORRY!!! I TRUELY DIDN'T TRY TO GET THAT PART!!!!!

So anyway, now I get to go to work and get away from the madness that is my home life. My brother failed yet another quiz and my dad wasn't in a good mood to begin with. I'm so sick of my successes being overstaged by his failures. Ah well. I get to talk to Dad on the way to work, so I guess I'll finish my news then.

I've got an open note quiz tomorrow (I'll ace it) and a presentation to give in French (might need some work, but not a whole lot). Wish me luck!

Looking forward to seeing my students,

Tay

My Okay Day

Okay, so we find out the One Act audition results on Friday and flute audition results tomorrow. I'm more excited for Friday, but I guess tomorrow's gonna be pretty big too. I know a lot of people who are going to be pretty happy and pretty disappointed. Ah well. Hope all goes well!

I had my concert tonight with my solo thing and I think we at least did okay. A few mistakes, but everyone did, so it was okay in the end. For only a week and a half, it sounded good.

I was excited that I had no homework today! Lucky, lucky me!

I have work tomorrow and really nothing else is going on. I MIGHT be trying out for choir on Friday, but I'm still thinking about it.

Yawning so big my mouth hurts,

Tay

One Act Auditions

So yesterday I did my one act auditions and I think they went great! I presented my monologue, got some laughs from it, sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and did a cold read which was oober easy!!! I pray that I got the part I wanted, and if not her, than some decent part. But if not, that's okay too, considering I've got tons of time and other plays to try out for before I graduate.

I think we find out the results today, but even so, I wanted a snow day really bad b/c I had pep band last night after auditions which left like no time for homework. So now I've got to figure out how to present something in french and start and finish my Geometry and Science homework. Well I guess that's what study hall is for!

Crossing my fingers extra tight,

Tay

Unwanted Snow Days

So today we had a snow day, which would normally be wholeheartedly welcomed, but today was supposed to be the One Act auditions! I'm so mad! Well, now I have more time to memeorize my monologue, but still! I was all excited and now I have to do tomorrow's homework b/c if I don't, I'll never get it all done. We had better have school tomorrow!!! I want to audition so bad and just get it over with! I'm so nervous!

On another note, one of my best friends is in love with a guy who is moving very far away. The guy just found out like a day or two ago and he's moving there like NOW! Who's parents do that?! Anyway, so yesterday Claire and I did a lot of comforting and I felt so bad.

Well, I should probably get back to homework.

Getting more and more nervous by the second,

Tay

Real Tree = Real Tears

This year my dad insisted on a real Christmas tree, which I'm totally against. For years we've been using a pretty life-like fake tree which I enjoyed helping to put together. Then last year, the top broke, so it was lopsided and now we didn't think we could use it anymore. Well this year my mom thought she had fixed it and that we might be able to use it, and I was excited until my dad insisted on a real tree b/c he didn't think the old one would work.

Downsides to real trees; - Waste of trees (and they wonder why our environment is bad...)
- Awful smell that gives me a headache
- HUGE mess
- Harder to decorate

Upside to real trees; NONE!!!

But even with all of my whining and complaining, he still went out and got one. I haven't even seen it yet and I already hate it. Grr....

On the bright side today, my mom's friend is coming over and we're decorating Christmas cookies! We always have so much fun with that every year! And after that, Kramer and Claire are coming over!

I guess the good out-weighs the bad in this post, but I still don't like that tree....

Getting a headache just thinking about that stupid thing,

Tay

One Act Excitement

I am oober, oober excited! Claire and I are trying out for Winter One Acts at our school! This is the first time I've done anything like this, but I feel like I'm finally doing something in highschool that I'm sure about, besides Flag Corps! This feels right. And even if I don't get a big part, or even if I don't get a part at all, I know that this is something that I truely want to do and might actually be good at, so I'm giving it my all and am planning on going out for the spring play as well now! Claire and Kramer get to come over tomorrow to practice and because he's going to be one of the directors, he will get to help us expect what we're going to face on Monday in our auditions. I'm, again, oooooooober excited!!

I'm also in a great mood because my mom has been baking my favorite Christmas cookies all day and I'm going to get to pig out on them tonight! That, and now the whole house smells like freshly baked cookies, and not just the kitchen, the whole entire house!! Yum!!

Excitedly awaiting Monday (one of the only times I will EVER say this),

Tay

Things Are Looking Up!

So I got my Science test and got a B. I guess that's okay, way better than failing, but I'm still bummed because now I only have an A in that class and not an H. I guess I'll have to work hard to get that H on my next report card then.

I also found out that I have a low A in English which is totally weird because English is supposed to be my best subject considering I love to read, I went to State Finals for Power of the Pen, and I got a perfect score on my practice Proficiency Tests last year. Weird......

So I never did get that snow day yesterday, so I'm praying hard that we get one tomorrow, or at least a late start because then my Geometry quiz will be canceled. I will send vicious vibes towards the skies tonight when I meditate after my prayers.

I'm really excited because tonight I get to go shopping with my mom to get my Christmas gifts from my gma (my grandmother; I call her Gma). This year, Gma just sent us each a check for $150, told us to spend it all on something that we'll like, don't open it or use it, wrap it up, and then bring it to her house when we celebrate Christmas (we celebrate a week beforehand so she can get down to her winter house in Florida before the holiday rush). Personally, I like this method a lot better than her guessing and trying to shop for us with our lists. This way, I know what I'm getting, I know I'm going to like what I get, and then I don't have to pretend that I like something I don't...... or at least not from her......

So right now I'm in a pretty good mood. Little homework, I just got a call from one of my bestest friends ever (Kramer, you are getting a blogspot whether you like it or not!), and I'm going shopping tonight! Overall, my life is going pretty smoothly! Let's see how long that lasts........

Enjoying life,

Tay

Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

Well, we got snow last night and now a two hour delay. Pray for me that we get a cancelation because that would totally make my week. Seriously God, if you're reading this or hearing my prayers, PLEASE MAKE IT CANCEL!!!!

If it doesn't cancel though, I may get either of the tests that I took yesterday back...... *gulps* yeah...... about that......

Anyway, but if it does cancel than Claire and Gabe and I are going to do something, I don't know what, but something! And maybe Joey will be there too....... *cough*Claire be ready*cough*

So that's pretty much the sole thing that's on my mind this morning!

Praying long and hard,

Tay

Unfair Tests, Agreeable Ex's, and Lame TV Shows

So I did well on my World Studies Test and flute tryouts, but I don't know how I did on my Science Test. I studied hard last night and even harder during Study Hall, but I still don't know how I did. I have no idea. So I'm going to stop worrying about it and just forget about it.

So today my ex and I got along surprisingly well and I don't know why. I think we've come to an unspoken agreement not to fight, even though I love blaming things on him and he apparently loves doing things wrong and proving that he can make up for his mistakes. Don't even get me started on examples.

Anyway, so tonight I have two of my favorite shows on, new episodes of both, and one is the final elimination round! That's right! Beauty and the Geek!! My brother got me hooked on that show and he and I have laughed and laughed at the pure stupidity of the beauties and the cute and innocent act of the geeks. It really is a good show; one of the only reality shows I can watch without wanting to hurt someone (like The Bachelor). The other show is Reaper which I like just because it has humor, romance, and thriller all in one show. I'm a sucker, I know. Most of you probably think those shows are stupid, and they probably are, but for some reason, they are the highlight of my week and I am always bummed when there isn't a new episode on. Laugh at me all you want, but I guess that's just who I am.

And so I should probably finish my homework now before I completely fall asleep.

Missing the simplicity of summer more and more,

Tay

Okay Day After All

Okay, so I'll admit that today wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The solo thing ended up being better than I thought and I think I'll get it with a LOT of practice. Plus, my friend who's doing it with me is just as confused as me, so I feel a bit better. I do have a lot of homework tonight, but I'll get it all done eventually. Panara for dinner (yum!!) and dad's home tonight, so overall, I think I'll survive. Just a lot of studying tonight and my study hall tomorrow will be definitely used, but other than that, I think I was just making a big deal out of nothing. As soon as tomorrow's over, I'll be fine. Plus, if I ace this Science test, I'll get my H back! I'm still mad that I flunked that pop quiz........

In a better mood than this morning,

Tay

Week From Hell; Part One

So today I know the orchestra teacher is expecting me to have perfected my solo over the weekend, but the truth is I'm screwed. I did practice, but it's a hard piece and I got the fingering down, but it's doing it as fast as it's supposed to that I'm going to suck at. I'm going to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassed today in orchestra!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!! And I'm not normally pessimistic.

In other news, my ex is going to be VERY mad at me this morning b/c I basically blamed a lot of bad stuff on him, but I had a reason! He really is to blame!! I have proof!!! But he's still going to be mad, but hey, it was his choice to screw up his friend's feelings and he needs to apologize and fix it!! I'm so sick of telling guys what they did wrong!

Wish me luck today.

Feeling sick,

Tay

PS; Shout out to Jim for being the only one besides Claire and my father to comment! Thanks Jim, you truely made my morning. I'll be looking forward to all of your questions in Science!

Someone Save Me

So today I studied for a Science test I have on Tuesday (of which I have to ace or I'm screwed), I practiced the flute b/c I have my tryouts this week and an impossible solo to preform in a week (HELP!!!), and my family also got out Christmas decorations. I would like to say that I helped with this, but I didn't. All I helped with was getting Thanksgiving decorations put back up into our attic. But at least I helped, right?!

I'm about to enter a death week and I'm going to do so with a smile on my face b/c that's the only way I'm going to make my way through it! Wish me luck!

Fighting to keep my eyes open at 6:00 at night,

Tay

Stress To The Max

So today I was extreamly stressed out. I didn't go to work b/c my dad apparently didn't know that I was working today (I told him I work every Thursday). It didn't help that he came home pissed at my brother b/c they had to go back to school to get my brother's homework. So I felt like I was punished for my brother's mistake and then blamed for him not knowing that I was working when I told him that I was working every Thursday. He never truely apologized b/c he still doesn't think it's his fault. I HATE it when men think that they are never wrong!!!!!! Urg!!!!

I also found out that my ex is smoking again when he told me he had quit. My dad said there's nothing I can do but ask him to stop, but I still feel like I should do something or tell somebody. I just don't know what to do. (C, if you're reading this, maybe you can help... I didn't want to bring it up on the phone...)

I have a quiz tomorrow, a test, and a presentation to give. Wish me luck.

Feeling stressed and freaked out,

Tay

A Little Bit Of Crazy Madness

So I'm watching Elizabethtown, one of the weirdest, most confusing, and most random movies I have ever seen, and thinking about the day I've had (and the one my friends had). Today was one of the weirdest days I've lived. I had a planned two hour delay, so I got up at seven fifteen, which I never do, I completely forgot to eat breakfast, I didn't pack my lunch or buy it at the school cafeteria, I had a friend receive the most beautiful love letter ever written along with the most breathtaking piece of jewelry I've ever seen, I fought and then laughed with my first ex-boyfriend from last winter, I had a pizza party in Geometry, I was actually sad that our sub wouldn't be teaching us anymore, I blew bubbles with bubble gum (I don't chew gum) in Science class, I actually understood what was going on in Science class, I practiced the flute for the first time in ages, and I actually didn't care one bit that my love life is perfectly and wholesomely nonexistant. Sure, I have a crush on one of my newest guy friends, but I'm actually content with it going positively nowhere anytime soon. I'm happy being single and I'm happy being able to flirt and have fun and enjoy having no boyfriend to bring that to an end. God, what has happened to me?!

Well I guess the fact that even though this friend recieved the letter and necklace and she still doesn't know what she's going to do about it, makes me feel that my love life, for once in my life, is not on the spotlight even the tiniest bit because no one cares and hardly anyone knows about this crush of mine. And so she doesn't know if she even likes him while he's professed his love to her (which she and I discussed shouldn't even exist as he doesn't even know her) and presented her with a timeless gem and she can't even except it. I feel that I should be able to do more than just talk her through it, but maybe I just have to accept that I can't fix everything and that I should be okay with that if I'm to live my life 100% happily. I know that I'm analyzing a lot right now, but just go along with it. I get this way when I've seen a lot of movies, which I have today. I also watched You Have Mail and loved it once again. That movie makes me think so much and I can't always tell if that's a good thing or not. I guess it is, considering thinking is almost never a bad thing, but I don't know. I'm now rambling and I feel as though I should be writing something at least a little more significant than what I am.

Do you know what I realized also? The names of the two main characters in Elizabethtown are the exact same as two of my friends' names! They may like each other, but I don't really know what's going to happen there, but I think this Elizabethtown thing might be some sort of sign. I think I was supposed to see that and maybe that's the answer we've been looking for. Maybe.......

On my way to e-mail my discovery (though she'll most likely read it here anyway),

Tay

Moment of Silence

I would like all of you bloggers reading this to bow your heads for thirty seconds in recognition of Jim Park who has left Tim Does Funny Stuff (there's a link in my Friends column). I still don't know why he left, but I'm determined to find out. And for Drew who is now running the site, I wish you luck! And, again, I'm here whenever you need me!

Thank you to those of you who participated in my moment of silence.

In mourning,

Tay

Goodbye Aunt and Uncle

It's sad, but true. My Aunt and Uncle left this morning and are headed back home now. We had tons of fun though and had a Thanksgiving I don't think any of us will forget any time soon! I hope all of you bloggers had a great Thanksgiving too!

Now our neighbors are in from out of town, but I don't have to worry about homework b/c I finished it at the beginning of break! I'm free to spend all day hanging out and laughing with my friends! I love my life!

I know this is a short post, but I really have to go get dressed before my friends arrive at my door and I'm in my pj's!

Tired and a little hungry,

Tay

Welcoming Family

So here I am, waiting for my aunt and uncle from out of town to get here. We spent like two weeks preparing for their visit, but yet it feels like we're doing everything at the last minute. Ah well. I keep saying we're doing a lot for people who love us no matter what. I mean, they're family! Come on! It's not like they're going to disown us if our house has a little dust in it, but if you knew my mother, she would 'be so embarrassed' if that happened so I'm done questioning her methods.

My brother's at a friend's house and should be home soon. I went shopping w/my mother and got tons of cute clothes! I had like no long sleeved shirts, so I'm excited now that I do! And I got a bunch of cute sweaters that are really fuzzy and warm! Winter do your worst!

Oh, my brother's home. I should probably go help get ready, but I'm having a hard time comprehending that there is still more that we can possibly get cleaner than it already is. This is madness.

Wishing my sore neck would go away,

Tay

A Quick Catch Up For Those Of You Who Haven't Been Around

Okay, so today both Kyle and Jimmy came back! I didn't have to be worried anymore! And Zack didn't sit w/us at lunch, which is good, but he sat w/my other guy friends, which is bad. And I think he knows I'm friends w/them b/c I remember freaking out when Claire was over there and I had to point the table out to him. So this could be very not good. But then again, I could be overreacting, so I'll just not worry about it (for now).

In other news, I got my haircut yesterday and it looked kinda cute today w/my mini-skirt, leggings, and cute top. At least, I was called cute on the bus ride home by my friend (guy).

Also my friend *cough*Claire*cough* is getting sick of me bringing up her relationship problems, but I can't help it! It's something that lets me get my mind off of my own stupid relationship problems, which I do have right now, choose to believe it or not. I hate dwelling on my romance problems when I already think about them 24/7.

So that's pretty much it for now.

Anticipating a sub from Subway for dinner,

Tay

Stupid Geometry Project!

So I feel horrible b/c I missed a party w/all of my bestest friends in the world b/c I was working on a stupid idiotic project that I worked for three hours on. I had better get a good grade on it or I will be pissed. But I felt loved b/c they all called me and put me on speaker phone and we talked for like an hour! I felt so loved! I still can't believe I missed seeing Max, though! Apparently he's hot now, but I have a hard time believing that. To me he will always be that little kid I knew who wore a trench coat and played with little lego figures. I need a picture to prove this (Claire, that's where you come in handy!). Or his e-mail will work too.

So today I have to go get my hair done and my eyebrows waxed (NOT looking forward to that). Then I have to come home and clean a LOT. *deep sigh* I can't wait until Thanksgiving break. It can't come soon enough.

Last night I watched the saddest movie I think I've ever seen. Sadder than Titanic and that was a pretty sad movie. It was called A Walk To Remember and is currently on my list of fav movies. I highly suggest all you girls out there to watch it! It will have you sobbing by the end of it, but it's so good and romantic and OMG it was sooooooooooooooooooooo good!

Well, that's me currently! I should probably go eat breakfast now, so I'll see you later!

Still waiting for a break,

Tay

Three Ex's In A Row, Tick Tack Toe, I Win! (goodie...)

So I did it. I broke up with him. It's better this way. But the thing is, I thought he was kinda mad, so I left him alone, and then he sat with us at lunch today! He claimed he had no where else to sit, which I totally believe, but still! Out of all the places to sit, you sit at your ex-girlfriend's table?!?!?! I mean come on!!! It was weird and awkward. I can't talk about other guys while he's there which sucks, not that there are any other guys right now, but still! My friend vowed to keep me away from guys now for a while, just like I'm supposed to be doing for her, but it's not going to be an easy job! I'm already on the lookout now, and I might already see something in the distance..... On that note, I want to comment that I don't see how I can keep her away from guys when I'm trying to set her up with a friend of ours anyway! (50.5% BABY!)

So that was mainly my day..... oh and in Geometry, a weird kid brought up the subject of beer goggles (inside joke) and I about peed my pants! It was sooooooo funny!

So that's about it! I have to go do my weekend homework now so that's done with, so I'll catch you later!

Having the weirdest day ever,

Tay

Soon To Be Ex (again)

I woke up at five thirty this morning and decided not to go back to sleep. I needed time to think. My boyfriend has been getting on my nerves lately. He's being a jerk and I need out of our relationship. So I decided that I'm going to break up with him this morning. Now normally, I would take into consideration the fact that today is our three week anniversary, but because he hasn't cared about both of our other anniversary's, I'm sure he won't care about this one. God, he's annoying.

It almost seems like I'm prone to do this. Breaking up is all I know how to do. This is the third time. I've never been broken up with before and I can't seem to figure out why. In my next relationship, if it doesn't work out, I pray I don't have to break up with someone again. It's hard and scary. I would rather break down in tears from being broken up with instead of trying to figure out how exactly to end a relationship. It's really hard. Plus, there aren't many songs to listen to about how you need to break up with a perfectly good guy. I think someone should write at least one.

Wish me luck.

Needing a Dr. Pepper at six thirty in the morning,

Tay

Friends Gone MIA

Okay, so I'm kinda mad right now. My friend has been gone for two days, I have no idea where he went, and he was supposed to get a haircut over the weekend and I have yet to see it! I'm beginning to think that by the time I do see it, his hair will have all grown back! I'm also afraid that he was hit by a bus, never to be seen again. Yeah, not good. And my friend Terri (not his real name, but a nickname) went home sick, and I'm pretty sure more people were missing too. Gosh people! Where are you?!

So in other news, I had only two subjects of homework tonight but could only get one done. I hate Science. Really, I do. I suck at it. So tomorrow in A+ (study hall), I have to have my friend Nick help me or I'll never get it done and it's going to be graded.

So that was my day. Not really interesting, but it was enough that I didn't fall asleep at all. (well, okay, I came pretty close, I'll admit that) Oh yeah, and I think I aced a World Studies test and I finished my book that I've been addicted to for the past week or two. My friend (shout out to M! You know who you are!), recommended the series to me and I've been hooked ever since! Thanx again M!

So now I think I'll go and help make dinner. You know I love all of you!

Freezing all the way down to my toes (maybe I should wear more than a tank in November),

Tay

Help!

So I've got two projects to work on, but don't know if I can today. I couldn't yesterday, and I might not be able to today. Friends from out of town are over and even though we love when they visit, they take up a lot of time. I don't know how I'm going to get everything done.......

On another note, I saw our school's play last night and was so proud of all of my friends in it. I knew like twenty people in it and was so proud! To all of you who were in TMM, you guys were great! Truely full of talent!

Well, I should probably go start homework before I have to do something else.

Wondering why I'm needing a break on the weekend,

Tay

Kinda (but not really) Interesting Day

So today was kinda interesting. Hung out w/my bf a lot and was sketched by my friend during study hall. She's really a great artist.

My friend might come over tomorrow and sleep over. If she does, we will probably watch movies, eat a LOT of food, and talk a lot. About boys normally, and believe me, we find a lot to talk about on that subject. Lately especially.

Also today, I entered a strange conversation with a bunch of new guy friends. I won't say exactly what was said, but lets just say that I wished I hadn't entered the conversation. (okay all you sick minded people, get your minds out of the gutters! it was not about that! they may be guys, but they aren't that perverted!)

So that was my day today. I know, not that interesting, but at least I'm updating the site, right! Unlike some people I could mention.......

Wanting a nap,

Tay

PS; I totally aced a test I took today in science that normally I would have failed if I hadn't studied my butt off last night w/my mom's help! Thanx Mom! *hands over cookie*

Randomnessness

So I'm about to go watch the new episode of Gossip Girl, but I figured I'd post here first.

Congrats to Claire who got her website up and running! You go girl (as painfully eighties as that sounds)!

And wow, looks like I can hold down a bf for longer than two weeks without wanting to back out! Amazing! I never thought I'd live to see the day! LOL! JK!

No one was sick today, which means I didn't have a heart attack. I tend to think the worst when friends are out sick. Normally my mental images include car crashes/cancer/death of some sort. I know, I'm paranoid. Believe me, I'm very aware of the fact.

Two tests tomorrow and one quiz, so my day is pretty full! I'm surviving though and am actually making it this far into the night without stressing too much.

Wanting a vacation,

Tay

Strange Dreams

So my new boyfriend is haunting my dreams. No joke. He's all I dreamt of last night and the night before. What is happening to me? What happened to me being afraid of love? Of getting hurt? Well I guess that's all gone up in flames now, huh? I guess I'll just have to succumb to these feelings and just wing it. If it doesn't work out, it won't be the end of my life.

Feeling overwhelmed,

Tay

Full Moon = Weird

Okay, so that whole, 'staying single' thing didn't exactly go according to plan. My friend from French class whom I've had a crush on for the past month, asked me out last night, during the full moon. Three guesses as to what my answer was...

So the only thing I'm afraid of now is awkward situations and stuff like that, but I think of it this way; it takes two people to make a situation awkward, so I just have to be loose and myself around him. Right?

Convinced the full moon has powers,

Tay

Busy Sunday

Well instead of working on homework all day like I'd planned, my family and I will be going to a pumpkin farm for an hour and a half to pick out pumpkins that we probably won't even carve. But it's tradition, so I'm not complaining. It just means that I'm going to have to work a little faster on homework than I had planned, considering I was also counting on a bike ride afterwords before dinner, which I will probably have to help make. I know, a lot for a Sunday, but this is what happens when people spend all Saturday sleeping.

I'm also having romantic ups and downs, but I'm refusing to say any more than that. I'm just feeling frustrated and exhilarated all at the same time. I think I need that bike ride now......

Needing time to think,

Tay

My God Forsaken Project

So I've been working on a project for the past hour and a half and can barely keep my eyes open. I also have to present the project either today or tomorrow and am not looking forward to it considering I have no idea what to say and half of it has to be in French. It sucks, but I guess I'll live.

Awaiting sleep,

Tay

PS; I would like to apologize for my previous icon, the one with the flower. I wasn't aware that I wasn't supposed to do that, so I apologize to whomever owns it (I don't obviously) and I removed it as soon as I found out. Again, I'm really sorry and it will never happen again, I promise!

Weird Day

So today I got into a fight with my brother (what else is new), but this time he said some things that really hit me and I realized just how big of a b**** I have been being these past few weeks. I mean, I've been under a lot of stress and everything, but I guess that's no excuse. So I apologized to basically everyone in my family who I had hurt and cried about a bucket of tears (again, something new?) for absolutely no reason. Today has been a strange day.

Not only that, but I've decided no more romance talk on here unless I get really serious. I mean, because of my luck with guys lately, it may be time for a long awaited break anyway. Maybe I should just stay single for a while and see how it goes. Or maybe not. I guess I'll just need a little convincing to get me back out there. But until a guy who can do that comes along, I think I'll just stick to drinking hot chocolate in my robe and slippers and watching a good chick flick.

Feeling weird,

Tay

Survival

Well, I actually made it through alive! Surprise! Didn't snag any hearts, but didn't break any either, so I'm not complaining. Now I have projects to work on and other homework to do before tomorrow. Just as I make it over one hill, I run into another. But ah well. Better an ant hill than a mountain. And homework is a definite ant hill, while homecoming is Mt. Everest.

Still in my sweat pants and tank at three in the afternoon,

Tay

Homecoming

Yes, it's that time of year again. That time when girls spend an extra few minutes in front of the mirror, just so they might get a date for the dreaded event. Homecoming. Who's idea was it anyway to have girls be degraded by their boob size or weight. And it isn't only hard on the girls, but the guys too. They are so freaked to go alone that they will ask anyone, not even caring if they sound as if they are only asking to have a date. Which they do, and they are.

And yet, the day before, we all get butterflies in our stomachs and spend hours doing hair and makeup. It doesn't make sense and I expect it never will.

Pray that I make it through alive.

Always nervous,

Tay

Yet Another Pickle...

I have gotten myself into yet another pickle. See, the guy I like, likes one of my best friends. He is going to ask her out eventually, I know it, but I don't know what she'll say. She's interested in another guy and not really into the guy I like. I'm still heartbroken over the whole thing. So, venting my feelings, I wrote the essay below, only made it a LOT more dramatic. I'm not really that sad, but I like to write dramatically. I would like feedback please. It's not anywhere near as good as what I normally write, but I felt like writing it and it helped with my feelings. So please read it!

Miss Drama,

Tay

Free and Broken

I hate this. Pretending to smile and laugh like this. Hoping beyond hope that no one notices the sadness hidden behind my eyes. I can’t stand the voice of his friend behind us, calling over with comments about his feelings towards one of my best friends. Tears want to prick at my eyes, but I won’t let them. Instead, I nudge her and tell her that she should go for it. I know she deserves him, and I know that he likes her. I know her. If he asks, she’ll be extremely tempted to accept. My only hope, as shameful as it is, is that he never gets up the courage. Part of me wants him to, though. Then I will never have to wonder if he ever thinks about her or regrets not asking her at some point in his life. If he asks and she accepts or declines, at least he would have tried and maybe could get over her if she says no or they break up. It’s a risk, but maybe I’m willing to wait to see if there’s a possibility I could win. I want him so bad. I want that look in his eyes to be directed at me. I want that longing, those comments, that feeling in my stomach. I want it all so bad that it hurts. My smile never falters, however, as she looks away. I know she’s interested in someone else, and she doesn’t know what to do. I try to help her reach a decision, but it’s hard, considering I don’t even know what I want. The only thing I’m certain of is that I want him.

I had him once, two years ago. He was interested, we flirted, but it didn't go anywhere. I regret not acting on my feelings like I should've, but I know I couldn't. I was tied down, but now I’m free. Free and broken.

Smiles are forced. Laughter is too loud. I know my other best friend notices. Ten years of friendship has trained her to recognize the signs. She frowns at me and gives me a look. I just give her a pleading glance and then look away. It hurts so much that I want to curl up and sob. But I can’t. I have to keep pretending. My friendship depends on it. If my heart dies, or if I go insane, it will be worth it. She will be happy, and so will he. And that’s what matters to me.

So I shut off that voice in the back of my head telling me that I should be in her place, I put on my fake smile, and I laugh too loudly, all the while remembering wanting this freedom, not realizing that it would come at a price. So here I am, free and broken.

Always found heartbroken,

Tay

Long Time, No Write

So sorry to all you bloggers out there. I know I haven't written in a while and I apologize greatly for it. My excuse is purely that a mixture of vacation, camp, and family time has caused me to become distracted. I will not promise that it will never happen again, however I will promise that if it does, I will apologize much like I am doing right now.

So, first in the news is my vacation. Our week long trip out west proved to be a little long. However, I did meet a cute cowboy, go to an awesome concert, and get to embark on a sunset horseback ride. So, overall it was a good trip, but I was very thankful to be home. I was so sick of my family and so close to pulling my own hair out that I shut myself in my room and did not open the door until my mind had slowed down to at least fifty miles per hour. I still have not finished unpacking (choose to believe it or not), but plan to as soon as I have any spare time.

Second in the news is that Band Camp has officially started as of last week. As a member of our high school's flag corps, my attendance is mandatory. We march in the blistering heat, seek shade under a large elm tree, and practice twirling five foot long flag poles until we feel our elbows will disintegrate. I do, however, get to eat lunch with my friends in a dark, airconditioned, theater, so I can't complain too loudly. I go back tomorrow and it will continue for at least another two weeks.

Third in the news is that I finally 'broke up' with this guy that I was supposed to start seeing come the first day of school. As my friend so pointedly said, 'how can you break up if you were never together?', I have no real answer other than I felt the need to make it official that I no longer liked him as anything more than a friend. So I told him, he's fine with it, and I feel 100% free now!

Fourth in the news (no, I'm not done yet!) is that my ex called two days ago wanting to see me. Why, I can't possibly imagion, but because I am currently angry with him, I made up an excuse and he hasn't called since. The whole story is that I went out with him at the end of winter and after a month or so decided that I didn't like him anymore. So I broke up with him and we planned on staying friends. That is until I find out from my friend that he had been talking horribly about me behind my back with his new girlfriend (someone I can't stand and thought he couldn't either. He lied.). So, hurt and confused, I've been mad at him ever since. I suppose I should tell him why exactly I'm mad, but I can't even find the energy to talk to him when he does call. So that's that story for all of you gossips out there.

And finally fifth in my news is that I got a cell phone! Yey! Finally! It is so cool and I love playing around on it! My father apparently does too, because when I told him off for dropping, playing with, and continuing to bug me about mine, he went off and got his own new one today, much to my family's surprise. He will never live this down, knowing my family. We tend to hold on to info like that and use it playfully against each other. Some would call it cruel, but hey, if we find it funny then we're going to do it. We do love to laugh.

So that's pretty much what has been going on lately in my life. I will try to write again soon, but am making no promises, as said before, camp starts tomorrow and with it starts another hectic week.

Full of news,

Tay

Tuesday - Free...... For Now

Well, today is one of the few days where my family has nothing planned. So, I convinced my mom and bro to take me to the movies to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I've been dying to see. I'm also going to try to convince my dad to let two of my best friends come over to hang out. We haven't seen each other in a long time and I miss them! Normally, I would say that we could go the pool, but it looks like rain outside. Ah well, we could probably entertain each other with gossip and chick flicks!

Needing a day off,

Tay

I'm Back!

I'm officially back from camping! Yay! I had fun, but the whole trip was longer than it needed to be. Next time, I think we should spend two nights tops, and leave the dog with a neighbor. It feels so good to be home! I showered for a good forty five minutes as soon as I entered the doorway. It felt so good! Now I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in as late as I want! It feels great to have these freedoms again!

I had flag corps practice tonight too, and had tons of fun! Our captain is back from vacation, and put a smile on all of our faces! We were having a great time trying to work on the new moves and our hands were black by the end of practice. It was worth the five minute scrubbing I had to do when I got home!

Feeling good,

Tay

Goodbye Boys, Hello RV

Well, the boys have officially said their goodbyes. It's sad, but we're keeping our chins up and hoping that they will visit sometime before next summer. On a brighter side, my other neighbor's grand kids will be in next weekend. They visit a lot more often, but we still miss them also.

Tomorrow morning, my mother, bro and I all leave to go camping with my grandmother in her RV. An hour drive to her house and then three and a half hours after that. Fun, right? At least it's something to occupy our time! We're staying for three nights, so it will be exciting, but we will all be ready to get home. My dad can't stand small places, so he will be at home, caring for our dog and our neighbor's rabbits (whom we're looking after while they're at a wedding for the weekend). We'll miss him terribly, but it will be great to get out of the house. I need a little change in scenery once in a while.

Trying to forget about the boys,

Tay

Summer Madness

Our nightly firefly catching has evolved into rousing Uno Attack games! Much more fun, seeing as fireflies began to lose their spark (no pun intended). It's been great seeing these guys again, but I'm going to miss them a lot when they leave Friday morning. I hate it when friends go away. Especially since we won't see these boys until next summer! It just makes me sad.

I miss my other friends too, but I hardly have any time to see anyone. Between my flag corps practices, my lifeguard training, and my family's plans, I hardly have enough time to dress in the morning, let alone plan a gathering of friends! My mom, bro, and I are all going camping with my grandmother until Monday morning. Then the next weekend, I'm going to a local Border's for the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with friends. Then the next morning, I'm going on an overnight camping trip with a bunch of friends. Then the weekend after that, my family and I are leaving for our week long vacation out west.

For those of you out there who have no plans and are complaining about how bored you are, count your blessings. You could end up like me; feeling as if summer is no better than school. Worse even because of the heat! But I'm thankful that I have so much to do. It means that I actually have people who care about where I am and who I'm with! There's always a bright side to everything!

Feeling overwhelmed,

Tay

Ann Arbor

Today, I look forward to going up to Ann Arbor and shopping (not like I have a lot of money to spend anyway; I blew most of it on books a few days ago) with my family. I love going up there and seeing the beautiful campuses and cute little shops. I'm actually thinking about going to school up there in a few years. Scary thought now, but maybe that's just because I'm still getting used to high school.

Anyway, it looks like a beautiful day here, so hopefully we won't be rained on! Hope all you bloggers get to enjoy a sunny day too!

Always keeping my chin up,

Tay

Fireflies

Was up 'till ten thirty last night catching fireflies with my bro and our neighbor's grandkids (two boys, one older, one younger). We had fun and shared a lot of laughs, which was good, considering we see these boys once a year. They always visit for a week in the summer, though, and every year we spend almost every night catching fireflies. We live close to a forest, so our yards tend to be filled with them any time after eight. Looking forward to doing it again tonight!

I also power walked with my mom today, which was fun. It not only gave us time to talk, but we also got some exercise in, which my mom claims to need (she doesn't). How often do all of you fellow bloggers exercise? Once a week, or once a month? Come on, tell the truth!

Feeling good about myself,

Tay

Projects

Today we start projects. Fun. For the past month, my mother has been continuously talking about all of these projects that she's going to do while she's on vacation. Well guess what! She's on vacation! And she needs help (aka; me) in order to finish said projects! YEY! *cough*not*cough* Ah well. At least it's something to do.

Summer is such a bitter sweet season. You're glad that school/work is over, but you also get so bored. No longer do you see people outside of your family every day. And if you're like me and my family, we can get very sick of each other in a short amount of time. Don't get me wrong, I love them all to bits, but we tend to annoy the heck out of each other. Do any of you fellow bloggers have crazy families like mine? I'd like to hear about them!

About ready to strangle someone,

Tay

Testing, testing, 1... 2... 3...

Hey all you bloggers out there!

Happy Fourth of July for those of you in the US. I hope you all have someone to sit with while you're being eaten alive by mosquitoes and trying to enjoy giant flashes of color in the sky that all start to look the same after awhile! Actually, I really do enjoy this holiday. It gives me and my crazy family an excuse to spend more time together, which we never find much time to do these days. So whether it's just your dog or a huge group of people, I hope you're not alone. And if you are, count your blessings for having peace in your life! There's always a bright side!

Where my family and I sit, however, it looks like rain! Ah well, it wouldn't be the first year!

Hope you all have a good Fourth!

Feeling the heat,

Tay