The Office

I hope you all had a great Christmas! I know I did!

So, because I'm kinda sick about talking about Christmas, I'm going to go ahead and talk about what I did last night. So for the past few days, my brother and I have been watching The Office nonstop. I got the first three seasons and we've been particularly following this one couple and pretty much screaming at the TV for them to get together. Well last night, my brother was watching his new Simpsons episodes, so I was in a different room watching The Office. And all of a sudden, the guy from the couple just like proclaimed his love for her in the middle of the parking lot. I sat there dumbfounded and I just wanted to rip my hair out b/c she couldn't return the feelings because she's getting married!!! Then, he sees her again in the office after hours and without saying anything, he just goes up and kisses her. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen as far as TV goes. But then they still didn't get together and he transfered himself into a different office. I was really upset.

I think the best thing about this couple is the fact that they actually talk. They are, like, best friends and talk about pretty much everything. I don't think a lot of girls realize that guys can be the best friends if you give them a chance. And they won't always turn into something more, and I think that's the beauty of it. You don't always have to worry about having to deal with dressing up or looking good because they don't care. But if there is something, then the couple gets to know each other better then if they just started going out. I made that mistake with my last boyfriend and I'm not making it again.

God, I felt like I was dying last night...

Not exactly sure why I felt this way,

Tay

PS; I'll probably end up deleting this later when I'm thinking more clearly, considering I just got up.

Happy Christmas Eve!

I'm off to church! The one night of the year we actually go and I am super excited! A good friend of mine that now goes to an all boys private school goes there, so I'm hoping to see him there! (yeah Claire, it's our french buddy from homecoming) I feel pretty weird though because I have to wear this brown skirt and this cream colored sweater. I like the outfit, I just don't like wearing stockings. They itch and are very irritating.

Anyway, just so all of you are aware, tonight is also a full moon, so be on the look out for strange occurrences, such as unexplained behaviors and small miracles. I just wish all of these clouds weren't covering it up. I was so looking forward to stepping out of my church and seeing that full moon the whole ride home... ah well. Sometimes things don't always go as planned, right? So we just have to role with the punches. I also can't wait to feel the great vibes I get from my church. It's like every time I walk into that building, I feel safe and more relaxed. I hope that once I move out of Ohio after graduation, I'll find a town that makes me feel that way too...

I hope all of you are enjoying your Christmas Eve's and that you have a safe and happy Christmas tomorrow!

Feeling that wondrous Christmas feeling,

Tay

Current Situation

Well, we're leaving soon. I told my brother about my plan and he didn't understand why. I laughed and just explained that I thought it was time for a change. Plus, making people feel guilty can be fun.

By the looks of the wind and snow outside, I say that we'll have a fun time getting there! Ah well. With my I Pod and my current daydream, I will survive, even if we're stuck in thirty miles of traffic.

I'm going to laugh, though, when my friend Gabe calls in the middle of dinner and all of a sudden, Paramore's 'Misery Business' starts blasting from my back pocket. He always has a knack for calling at the worst times. Either that, or it will be Claire or Kramer. Anyone actually would be appreciated, as we will most likely need some sort of conversation topic. LOL, I'm just kidding!

Feeling temporarily carefree,

Tay

Holiday Surprises

Today's the day. That 'wonderful' day in which I have vowed to be sugary sweet. Ug... Maybe I can just continue being my anti-social self... yeah right. Me and anti-social really don't go well together, and every time we get together, it gets harder and harder to stay shut up. Most of the time I just want to scream at them and smack a couple people, but I bottle it up and just continue either writing or sketching, just to take my mind off of it all. This year I'm going to leave my notebook, sketch book, and pencils at home. This year I will help distribute the gifts without fighting with my idiot cousin, I will help make dinner, and I will smile as though I know something that everyone else doesn't. My parents might ask why I'm smiling so, but I'll just respond that it's the holidays and that everyone should be smiling. Lets see them respond to that.

Determined to confuse people,

Tay

Getting In That Christmas Mood!

So after dinner tonight, I found out that we were planning on visiting our family friend who used to babysit my younger brother. I love going over there and they always are so nice. Every year, we give them a cookie plate and they give us small gifts in return. I'm super excited because I got a new cross! I needed one and was half tempted to ask for one for Christmas in the first place, but decided against it because I didn't want anyone to feel awkward about buying it! So I'm wearing it now and I absolutely love it! I don't ever want to take it off!

They were super nice, as usual, and we found out that her daughter is expecting a baby girl in February! I can't wait! I absolutely love babies and hope they ask me to babysit sometime.

Then, after visiting them, the four of us went and drove around looking at Christmas lights. We do this every year and we always look forward to it. My dad always plays odd Christmas music and we laugh and comment on all of the beautiful houses and the odd ones too. This year, we've noticed a depressing decrease in number of lights. It's like no one had enough time to celebrate the holidays this year. To me, that's just sad.

So that's my current mood. In twenty minutes it will probably change, so stand by!

Loving the holidays more and more,

Tay

Delayed Celebration

So apparently Gma's house is tomorrow instead, which is great because then today we get to do more shopping. It seems that this year, we knew that Christmas was coming soon, so it didn't sneak up on us, we just didn't have a lot of time to spend shopping and wrapping. So we're doing it all pretty last minute, even my mom who's been known to finish her Christmas shopping in July.

I'm pretty happy that all of my shopping is done. I still have to make cards, but I can do that tomorrow while I'm resisting the urge to pull my hair out of my scalp. Today I know my mom and I are going to be hunting down this unbelievably cool present for my dad, which will take at least two hours. Then I have to wrap more gifts from my dad to my mom. I'm not complaining about it, but I think he should help! Or maybe not now that I think about it...

I also have library books that I should probably read sometime before the end of break. And probably before Christmas, considering I asked for pretty much all books.

Anticipating a good read this Christmas,

Tay

On A Happier Note

Okay, so first I would like to give the biggest shout out in the history of forever to Jim! That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard! Thank you so much for always making my day! You truely always know how to make me smile! How do you do it?

So on the subject of my last post, I think everything will be okay. I know it will be a rough road getting to that point, but I truely believe that everything will be okay now. Things are slowly beginning to look up.

I got to wrap Christmas presents today for my mom and was super excited about it! All while I was little, I always loved wrapping presents more than opening them. I can't say the same about my brother who is always poking and pinching all of the wrapped goodies under the tree, not only his own, but everyone's in the family.

Tomorrow is Gma's Christmas where I see my mom's side of the family before she goes back to Florida. Unfortunately this also means that I have to see my uncle and his family who we can't really stand to be around. Ever since he and my mom stopped talking, he hasn't given two hoots about me or my brother, so I can't stand to be around him. But I got this idea that I'm not going to be my usual anti-social self that I normally am around them, but instead I'm going to be a sugary sweet, social, Christmas angel! Lets see them respond to that!

So because Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, I'm determined to have a cheery season, even if it means forgetting about all of the problems I'm supposed to be working out and dedicating myself intirely to preparing for Monday and Tuesday.

Determined to make these holidays happy,

Tay

Scared

I'm terrified. I think one of my friends is going into a scary depression and I don't know what I should do about it. I've already been through this with one of my other friends and it was one of the scariest things I've ever been through. I really hope this isn't the same thing as that, but if it is, I think I'm going to have to get help again. I'm practically in tears right now and if anyone could offer me some comfort, it would be greatly appreciated.

Trying really hard not let my tears fall,

Tay

Scripts and Tests and Quizzes, Oh My!

Today I have two quizzes and one test. I think the first quiz will be easy, the test kinda easy, and the last quiz kinda hard. I'll study in study hall and lunch and trust that I do well. I skimmed the material last night, so I'm sure I'll do at least okay. I do hate Science though! As soon as I thought that I actually understood something, he has to go and change it up! It's like Algebra all over again! You grasp one concept and then it just gets that much more complicated only a second later.

I got my script yesterday! I'm so excited! One of my newest friends and I have to pretty much have a cat fight over a dead guy! ..... and then apparently I'm kissed by this senior who's shorter than me and rides my bus. Thank GOD I don't have to kiss him on stage (or at all)! Yuck! But it's weird because our director won't give us the ending! She says she'll give it to us after break! It's one of those 'surprise ending' things. We all were like 'NOOO!!! HOW DOES IT END?!?!?!?!', but she still wouldn't tell us. Grr......

Hoping my studying paid off (for once),

Tay

Saved By The Best Friends

Thankfully, my two best friends saved me from the party and instead of being there, Claire and I went over to Kramer's house and danced and talked and ate pizza and just had fun. We talked for the longest time and it felt good. Really good. We talked about guys and we talked about our each current romantic situation (please don't ask about mine...) and what we were going to do about it (I still don't really know). We also discussed politics and religion and spirits (and my whole 'third eye' thing). I felt very talked out by the end of it.

Then Claire became my ride home, but before they dropped me off, we went to Rite Aid and looked through bridal magazines, discussing flowers, rings, and dresses. We pretty much planned our weddings, but don't worry. We're not planning on getting married any time soon.

So then all of my homework ended up being really easy to do and I felt really good last night.

The meeting after school went well I think. We discussed pretty much everything that had to do with our production. Turns out I pretty much know everyone in the play we're doing, so it should be fun. We get scripts today and I can't wait!

Feeling blessed,

Tay

Deep Breaths Everyone!

Two hour delay today, which is good b/c that might get my Geometry test postponed, but lets me get my script after school. Hopefully it won't cancel.......

So my mom's party was postponed until tonight (joy) so I've got to get all of my homework done in school, which I don't know how I'm going to do that when I haven't even finished the homework that is due today. That's normally what I use Study Hall for. And after that, I then work on homework for that night. Wish me luck.

I'm feeling kinda sick because I'm kinda nervous for getting my script. What if I can't do this? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I make a horrible first impression? *takes a deep breath* Okay, I'm better. *takes another deep breath*

So wish me luck surviving today! LOL!

Feeling kinda queasy,

Tay

Let's NOT Party!

So today my mom has her party which I have to help out with. It starts at four, but up until that point, I have a mountain of homework to do and like four rooms to clean. I also have to help my mom cook all of the food. Then, before the people get here, I have to change into a very warm sweater and probably a skirt (grrr....) and go through hell trying not to itch at my leggings and suffer through a bunch of women commenting on my hair, my height, my WEIGHT, and my age. "Now what grade are you in dearie?" And then I have to fight back a grumble and cheerfully as I can without sounding fake, I say, "Ninth." Then they all chuckle (for what reason I don't ever know. It's not like I said anything funny) and go on about what it was like to be in ninth grade, even though they probably don't even remember one thing about being a freshman.

At least there's a bunch of really good food.......

Dreading the rest of the day,

Tay

I Got Lead!!!!!!!!

I got Roxi!!! I actually got leading lady in my friend's play!!! I can't believe it! I mean, I think I did well in my auditions, but not that well! And the leading male part is being played by the same guy who had the lead in the fall musical! He's mister drama club, so it's no wonder he got the part, but I have had no drama experience what so ever, I didn't take the Drama 1 course this year because I didn't think I would have enough time, and I've been to, like, two out of the four drama club meetings that have occurred so far. So how did I get this part? Ah well, I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm great at memorizing and I really do love to act, so I believe I'll do fine.

And I'm oober excited because this guy who's playing the leading male part is like a super star to me and I got to meet him yesterday! It's kinda weird being a fan of someone who goes to the same school as you, but I am a HUGE fan of his. And he is so made for theater. You can just tell. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely DON'T have a crush on the guy. I mean, he's got a girlfriend (I think) and I've currently got my sights set on someone else (that's all you're getting from me!).

On that subject, I'm also promising not to talk about my current crushes and flirting until I get an actual boyfriend. There are too many people who know about this blog and who I really would rather not know. I'm pretty conservative about stuff like that.

So, back to One Acts, I'm also kinda bummed I got Roxi because technically, that was supposed to be Claire's part. I'm really sorry, again. And also the part I tried out for was taken my one of my newest best friends. I really do think this whole thing is going to end up being way more interesting than anyone is expecting.

So I'm going to my aunt's house today for lunch and some hanging out before she moves to California. I'm really bummed, but I do have her e-mail address (I hope she has Internet where she's going...) so I can still talk to her. I really do hope that she's happier there than she ever was here. A shout out goes to her for getting the courage to move away from this dreary town and let herself be happy... as long as she comes back and visits.

Anyway, so now I'm going to eat breakfast and I should probably work on homework (but I won't).

Impatiently awaiting Monday (we get our scripts Monday),

Tay

PS; I will find out your source (and reason) Jim! Why be so secretive? What's to hide?

Morning Jitters

I'm soooooooooooooooo nervous!!! In a matter of hours I'll know what part I have in One Acts!!! I really hope I get a good part! I love acting and memorizing lines!

So I also have to give a French presentation today that I'm kinda nervous about, but kinda not. I kinda sorta prepared, so I should be okay I think. More like, I hope.

Not much else going on this morning, but I'm sure there'll be a lot this afternoon. I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Eating a disgusting orange,

Tay

An Actual Good Thursday!

So today was one of the few Thursdays that I actually enjoyed! I got the results of my band auditions back and I got to Symphonic Band!!!! YEY!!!! I'm super excited as long as the music isn't hard and I'm NOT first chair!! I don't think I could handle being first chair in Symphonic Band. Way too much pressure.

Also today I found out that I did really well on my auditions for One Acts (thanks Jim for completely making my day with that!!!)!!!! So now I think I can actually act, something that I never thought to try before. I mean, I thought about it, but it was always someone else's thing. I was one of the writers, not one of the actors, but in highschool I guess you can be both! I can't wait to find out what part I got!

However, on the down side, I also found out that I might get the part my bestest friend is trying out for. I didn't even ask to be assigned that role! I feel really bad about it and I hope I don't get it, but if I do, I'M SO SORRY!!! I TRUELY DIDN'T TRY TO GET THAT PART!!!!!

So anyway, now I get to go to work and get away from the madness that is my home life. My brother failed yet another quiz and my dad wasn't in a good mood to begin with. I'm so sick of my successes being overstaged by his failures. Ah well. I get to talk to Dad on the way to work, so I guess I'll finish my news then.

I've got an open note quiz tomorrow (I'll ace it) and a presentation to give in French (might need some work, but not a whole lot). Wish me luck!

Looking forward to seeing my students,

Tay

My Okay Day

Okay, so we find out the One Act audition results on Friday and flute audition results tomorrow. I'm more excited for Friday, but I guess tomorrow's gonna be pretty big too. I know a lot of people who are going to be pretty happy and pretty disappointed. Ah well. Hope all goes well!

I had my concert tonight with my solo thing and I think we at least did okay. A few mistakes, but everyone did, so it was okay in the end. For only a week and a half, it sounded good.

I was excited that I had no homework today! Lucky, lucky me!

I have work tomorrow and really nothing else is going on. I MIGHT be trying out for choir on Friday, but I'm still thinking about it.

Yawning so big my mouth hurts,

Tay

One Act Auditions

So yesterday I did my one act auditions and I think they went great! I presented my monologue, got some laughs from it, sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and did a cold read which was oober easy!!! I pray that I got the part I wanted, and if not her, than some decent part. But if not, that's okay too, considering I've got tons of time and other plays to try out for before I graduate.

I think we find out the results today, but even so, I wanted a snow day really bad b/c I had pep band last night after auditions which left like no time for homework. So now I've got to figure out how to present something in french and start and finish my Geometry and Science homework. Well I guess that's what study hall is for!

Crossing my fingers extra tight,

Tay

Unwanted Snow Days

So today we had a snow day, which would normally be wholeheartedly welcomed, but today was supposed to be the One Act auditions! I'm so mad! Well, now I have more time to memeorize my monologue, but still! I was all excited and now I have to do tomorrow's homework b/c if I don't, I'll never get it all done. We had better have school tomorrow!!! I want to audition so bad and just get it over with! I'm so nervous!

On another note, one of my best friends is in love with a guy who is moving very far away. The guy just found out like a day or two ago and he's moving there like NOW! Who's parents do that?! Anyway, so yesterday Claire and I did a lot of comforting and I felt so bad.

Well, I should probably get back to homework.

Getting more and more nervous by the second,

Tay

Real Tree = Real Tears

This year my dad insisted on a real Christmas tree, which I'm totally against. For years we've been using a pretty life-like fake tree which I enjoyed helping to put together. Then last year, the top broke, so it was lopsided and now we didn't think we could use it anymore. Well this year my mom thought she had fixed it and that we might be able to use it, and I was excited until my dad insisted on a real tree b/c he didn't think the old one would work.

Downsides to real trees; - Waste of trees (and they wonder why our environment is bad...)
- Awful smell that gives me a headache
- HUGE mess
- Harder to decorate

Upside to real trees; NONE!!!

But even with all of my whining and complaining, he still went out and got one. I haven't even seen it yet and I already hate it. Grr....

On the bright side today, my mom's friend is coming over and we're decorating Christmas cookies! We always have so much fun with that every year! And after that, Kramer and Claire are coming over!

I guess the good out-weighs the bad in this post, but I still don't like that tree....

Getting a headache just thinking about that stupid thing,

Tay

One Act Excitement

I am oober, oober excited! Claire and I are trying out for Winter One Acts at our school! This is the first time I've done anything like this, but I feel like I'm finally doing something in highschool that I'm sure about, besides Flag Corps! This feels right. And even if I don't get a big part, or even if I don't get a part at all, I know that this is something that I truely want to do and might actually be good at, so I'm giving it my all and am planning on going out for the spring play as well now! Claire and Kramer get to come over tomorrow to practice and because he's going to be one of the directors, he will get to help us expect what we're going to face on Monday in our auditions. I'm, again, oooooooober excited!!

I'm also in a great mood because my mom has been baking my favorite Christmas cookies all day and I'm going to get to pig out on them tonight! That, and now the whole house smells like freshly baked cookies, and not just the kitchen, the whole entire house!! Yum!!

Excitedly awaiting Monday (one of the only times I will EVER say this),

Tay

Things Are Looking Up!

So I got my Science test and got a B. I guess that's okay, way better than failing, but I'm still bummed because now I only have an A in that class and not an H. I guess I'll have to work hard to get that H on my next report card then.

I also found out that I have a low A in English which is totally weird because English is supposed to be my best subject considering I love to read, I went to State Finals for Power of the Pen, and I got a perfect score on my practice Proficiency Tests last year. Weird......

So I never did get that snow day yesterday, so I'm praying hard that we get one tomorrow, or at least a late start because then my Geometry quiz will be canceled. I will send vicious vibes towards the skies tonight when I meditate after my prayers.

I'm really excited because tonight I get to go shopping with my mom to get my Christmas gifts from my gma (my grandmother; I call her Gma). This year, Gma just sent us each a check for $150, told us to spend it all on something that we'll like, don't open it or use it, wrap it up, and then bring it to her house when we celebrate Christmas (we celebrate a week beforehand so she can get down to her winter house in Florida before the holiday rush). Personally, I like this method a lot better than her guessing and trying to shop for us with our lists. This way, I know what I'm getting, I know I'm going to like what I get, and then I don't have to pretend that I like something I don't...... or at least not from her......

So right now I'm in a pretty good mood. Little homework, I just got a call from one of my bestest friends ever (Kramer, you are getting a blogspot whether you like it or not!), and I'm going shopping tonight! Overall, my life is going pretty smoothly! Let's see how long that lasts........

Enjoying life,

Tay

Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

Well, we got snow last night and now a two hour delay. Pray for me that we get a cancelation because that would totally make my week. Seriously God, if you're reading this or hearing my prayers, PLEASE MAKE IT CANCEL!!!!

If it doesn't cancel though, I may get either of the tests that I took yesterday back...... *gulps* yeah...... about that......

Anyway, but if it does cancel than Claire and Gabe and I are going to do something, I don't know what, but something! And maybe Joey will be there too....... *cough*Claire be ready*cough*

So that's pretty much the sole thing that's on my mind this morning!

Praying long and hard,

Tay

Unfair Tests, Agreeable Ex's, and Lame TV Shows

So I did well on my World Studies Test and flute tryouts, but I don't know how I did on my Science Test. I studied hard last night and even harder during Study Hall, but I still don't know how I did. I have no idea. So I'm going to stop worrying about it and just forget about it.

So today my ex and I got along surprisingly well and I don't know why. I think we've come to an unspoken agreement not to fight, even though I love blaming things on him and he apparently loves doing things wrong and proving that he can make up for his mistakes. Don't even get me started on examples.

Anyway, so tonight I have two of my favorite shows on, new episodes of both, and one is the final elimination round! That's right! Beauty and the Geek!! My brother got me hooked on that show and he and I have laughed and laughed at the pure stupidity of the beauties and the cute and innocent act of the geeks. It really is a good show; one of the only reality shows I can watch without wanting to hurt someone (like The Bachelor). The other show is Reaper which I like just because it has humor, romance, and thriller all in one show. I'm a sucker, I know. Most of you probably think those shows are stupid, and they probably are, but for some reason, they are the highlight of my week and I am always bummed when there isn't a new episode on. Laugh at me all you want, but I guess that's just who I am.

And so I should probably finish my homework now before I completely fall asleep.

Missing the simplicity of summer more and more,

Tay

Okay Day After All

Okay, so I'll admit that today wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The solo thing ended up being better than I thought and I think I'll get it with a LOT of practice. Plus, my friend who's doing it with me is just as confused as me, so I feel a bit better. I do have a lot of homework tonight, but I'll get it all done eventually. Panara for dinner (yum!!) and dad's home tonight, so overall, I think I'll survive. Just a lot of studying tonight and my study hall tomorrow will be definitely used, but other than that, I think I was just making a big deal out of nothing. As soon as tomorrow's over, I'll be fine. Plus, if I ace this Science test, I'll get my H back! I'm still mad that I flunked that pop quiz........

In a better mood than this morning,

Tay

Week From Hell; Part One

So today I know the orchestra teacher is expecting me to have perfected my solo over the weekend, but the truth is I'm screwed. I did practice, but it's a hard piece and I got the fingering down, but it's doing it as fast as it's supposed to that I'm going to suck at. I'm going to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassed today in orchestra!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!! And I'm not normally pessimistic.

In other news, my ex is going to be VERY mad at me this morning b/c I basically blamed a lot of bad stuff on him, but I had a reason! He really is to blame!! I have proof!!! But he's still going to be mad, but hey, it was his choice to screw up his friend's feelings and he needs to apologize and fix it!! I'm so sick of telling guys what they did wrong!

Wish me luck today.

Feeling sick,

Tay

PS; Shout out to Jim for being the only one besides Claire and my father to comment! Thanks Jim, you truely made my morning. I'll be looking forward to all of your questions in Science!

Someone Save Me

So today I studied for a Science test I have on Tuesday (of which I have to ace or I'm screwed), I practiced the flute b/c I have my tryouts this week and an impossible solo to preform in a week (HELP!!!), and my family also got out Christmas decorations. I would like to say that I helped with this, but I didn't. All I helped with was getting Thanksgiving decorations put back up into our attic. But at least I helped, right?!

I'm about to enter a death week and I'm going to do so with a smile on my face b/c that's the only way I'm going to make my way through it! Wish me luck!

Fighting to keep my eyes open at 6:00 at night,

Tay