yeah, yeah, i know.

okay, hi everyone! i realize that i haven't posted in a while, but school ends tomorrow and i have a feeling that i'm going to have some time on my hands... at least for the next week, which i have off. so i'm posting an update.

first, and always most importantly in a girl's mind, my current romantic life. let's start juicy!

okay, well any and all guy problems i've posted here are irrelevant. over. done. even though they've been dead for a while, i just thought i'd re-enforce that. now, for the current situation; in march i went to state thesbian conference with a couple friends and while i was there i was introduced to a friend of a friend. he's a senior. a senior at a different high school than mine. and he's italian. let's just say yummy...

only there was a slight problem... he had a girlfriend. whom he was in love with. deeply. but they were having relationship issues. so okay, the whole trip him and i flirted and stuff and talked a bit. we exchanged numbers, end of story. he had a girlfriend and i told myself i wouldn't fall for him. that was working enormasly well.

and then she broke up with him.

he was a mess. he would call me and we would talk about it and yeah. i felt okay b/c i knew he was still in love with her. not a big deal, right? well then, you know the movie i'm doing? he tried out for it!!! and got a part!!! so i saw him. a lot. and we flirted. a lot.

i know most of you are probably like, 'wow tay, that's the perfect way to NOT fall for a guy.' but it was working. it truely was. his flirting helped me with my loneliness and my flirting helped him ease his pain.

and then after a while, our phone conversations changed. they became less about her and more about me. weird.

and then... we had our most recent read-through. lets just say that he and i were pretty much joined by the hip the whole freaking night. and we talked. a lot. i told him things. things i didn't really mean to ever tell him. and he understood. and BELIEVED ME!!! now THAT is weird.

and then, when i had to leave, he walked me to the door, i hugged him goodbye... and it was kinda like he wanted to kiss me, but i didn't let him. i said bye and ran out the door.

smooth taylor. really smooth.

so yeah. he and i have talked about it. i'm afraid of getting hurt and that's what would happen if we got together. but... we've pretty much said that whatever happens, happens. lovely.

so yeah. now i'm a bit confused and still not sure if i'm willing to let myself like him. it's all so weird.

alright, well that's my current situation. no other guy than the occasional flirt.

so now on to the topic of exams!!! i've taken three out of my five and have my other two tomorrow. i know, i know, i should be studying, but it's five in the afternoon. i have all night. and i've been studying for days. and i'm tired. and all i want to do is put in gilmore girls and fall asleep listening to their fast-paced dialogue and fantisizing about lukilei fluff...

well... i guess i'll do that later after i'm done studying. which will end up being tomorrow.

and i should call some people... including mr italian senior guy... but i hate the phone, so i guess i'll talk to people when i feel like dealing with everything.

wish me luck on my geometry and science exams tomorrow.

proudly wearing her artistic arms,

tay

Old Exams and New Classes

So yes, I have come up with an idea, which, weirdly enough, I came up with in the shower yet AGAIN. That place is magic apparently. Or just the hiding place of the plot bunny. Either one.

So comments would be VERY appreciated. Even views or reads.... or ANYTHING! Come on people. You don't want me to beg, do you?

So enough about the new site, let's talk about exam results.

Let's just say that I did okay, but not great. All B's so far, and I still haven't gotten World Studies or Science back. I thought that was okay until I came home from school today and told my father, who didn't really even react, and then told my mother and basically bantered with her about my studying habits, and so yeah. I'm not exactly in the best mood right now, and it doesn't help that it's a full moon and my whole astronological clock is WAY out of wack, causing me to lash out at people and sink into a lull that won't seem to go away.

So lets just say that I really don't want to cry right now, so I'm just going to stop writing about this. New topic.

How about my new classes? Well, first is my new Study Hall, which sux btw. I don't sit my any of my A+ buddies, so I'm lonely and loveless. The only bright side is that I do sit by one of my French buddies from last year, so I'm not completely alone. I still felt lonely, though.

So then I had a different lunch period. It was actually better than I'd expected, but, again, because of my wacked astronological clock, I was tired and not really in the mood to deal with the drama that normally goes along with lunch. The bright side is that I'm the only girl (it IS a bright side, believe me), so that way I don't have to worry about more drama. Believe me, I get enough of that on my own.

Lastly, I had a new Photo Journalism class. I'm looking forward to making these journals my new teacher talked about, but I'm very lonely in that class. No one I'm close to is in that class and I'm going to be alone. Fun, but maybe it's a good thing that I have a class all to myself without anyone there to remind me of my dramatic and stressful life. Can you tell that I'm a little down right now? I guess my optimism goes out the window after having a day like mine.

Yeah, so that's me. I was just cheered up by my friend, though, who complimented some pics of mine, so I feel a bit better, but I could still use some chocolate if anyone's got any to spare...

Going to go listen to some inspiring lyrics and pray that they help,

Tay

Exams, Exams, and More Exams

I feel so burnt out right now that it's not even a little bit funny. I truely just want to crawl under the covers and stay there for the rest of my life.

Yesterday's exams went okay. Turns out Health was my hardest and I got a B on it (he told us), so I should at least get B's on the rest of the ones I took yesterday. Today I just have French, which I'm praying is mostly multiple choice and matching...

I'm terrified for tomorrow, though. Geometry shouldn't be impossible, but Science might be. I HATE Science with a burning passion and I don't understand hardly anything. I'm going to have to study my butt off tonight just to pass. Wish me luck.

I'm getting a migrane just thinking about all of this.

On a short fuse this morning,

Tay

I Want A Nap

I can hardly keep my eyes open at almost four in the afternoon. Something's seriously wrong here. I have been working for the past two hours and am really, really, really tired. Seriously, I think I'm going to go take a nap soon.

Exams are three days away and I'm going to be working my butt off until that point, so why can't I take a three hour nap until dinner??? Because I've got to study for PRE EXAMS FOR TOMORROW!!! The next twenty minutes are the only break I'm giving myself before I go back to the books. *yawns so big her mouth hurts* By the time this is all over, I'm going to be so tired that I'll probably fall asleep in the middle of an exam, and then I'll be screwed over for life. Great. No pressure or anything.

Plus, it doesn't help that I got, like, NO sleep last night b/c of my stupid cough. I swear, I've had it for like three weeks now, and it's STILL not going away. According to my mom, it could last another three weeks. Great.

The only plus side right now is that my favorite movie is on cable tonight at six. I'm recording it b/c of course I'll be too busy either studying, helping with dinner, or eating dinner to actually watch it. Thankfully I'm planning on stopping all of my madness at eight to watch it. Yeah, I'm going to crawl into a sweatshirt and sweat pants and curl up in a ball with a gallon of rainbow sherbert and probably sob my way through half of it (it's a very sad movie).

So. Yeah. That's my current situation. I'm also incredably alone right now b/c my parents had to take my bro to his b-ball game and I had to stay home and study. My only companion is my dog, who is currently curled up around my feet, trying to keep them warm (I never wear socks, so my feet are always freezing). So comments would be appreciated.

Slowly entering a dream world,

Tay

Exams And Everything That Goes Along With Them

Okay, so I officially HATE exams. In about fifteen minutes, I have to make a three page cheat sheet for my World Studies class, which is going to take FOREVER. I also have to make flashcards, though I don't really remember what for (which could cause a bit of a problem).

I missed a drama club meeting after school because I was so tired and distracted that I completely blanked, and didn't remember until my dad brought it up a half hour after it had ended.

I also had three quizzes and a test today. The test I actually think I did okay on, the first quiz I pretty much failed (but we take three a week, so they're really not worth much), the second quiz I actually aced, and the third quiz I honestly have no idea how I did on. In all reality, I'm pretty nervous about it, but I'm at least sure I passed.

And (if you can believe there's more), I didn't sleep well at all because of this stupid cough I've had for the past week. Instead of going away like I thought it would, it's just getting worse (I'll go into random fits now, and not be able to stop no matter how much water I drink) and now it's costing me sleep. I finally let my dad call the doctor, so I've officially declared war. Oh, it's on, bacteria, it's on.

So that's pretty much my day so far. I know, nothing positive, but it's hard to find positivity when you're too preoccupied with the pressure of exams. Hmm... something positive to say... how about the fact that I laughed today? That's positive, right? I mean, I always laugh in Science class (Jim and Claire know why, especially today). Ah, the wonder that is ninth period. It reminds me of my double period of social studies last year. Good times, good times...

Suddenly missing the simplicity of eighth grade,

Tay

Long Awaited Update

I'm sooooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in forever! It's just I've had other things to do and tons of stuff on my mind to deal with. Not that anything has really gotten accomplished or any of my thoughts sorted out, but you know, I felt bad about lack of updates!

So here's my current story; I was walking home from the bus stop with tons of books not only in my backpack, but also in my arms b/c I'm supposed to prepare for exams this weekend and get myself organized. So I'm walking, and normally the walk isn't that long, but normally I don't have fifty pounds on my back and another fifty pounds in my arms, so I'm walking slowly and my arms are killing me. So I'm halfway there, and I slip on a patch of ice and fall onto the street. I swear I pulled at least ten muscles and got a nice sized bruise on my hip and another on my knee. I'm then half tempted just to frickin' leave everything there and just limp home without my homework, but I know that I can't, so I have to heave myself up back onto my feet, with my backpack still on my back, and my books still in my arms. By the time I got home, my arms were trembling from the weight and my legs were about ready to give out, but I finally made it through the door and I pretty much just dumped it all on the staircase. I haven't even changed out of my boots yet, I just hobbled to the computer.

So that was my most recent story. Trust me, there's more where that came from.

Let's talk about exams and my schedual for this weekend. I have to work pretty much nonstop, making flash cards for everything and taking notes on what I need to study for each subject. Six exams. Six subjects. Six sets of notes. At LEAST six sets of flash cards. And the sucky part is that I can't NOT study or my parents will kill me and I can't procrastinate this stuff or I will never be able to pass, and THEN my parent's will kill me. So either, I go through this torture this weekend and get it over with, or get grounded from now until my birthday. I think you know which one I'm going to choose.

So I guess I won't be able to post all weekend, but come Monday, I'll continue to keep you updated (if I'm still alive by then).

Dreading walking again,

Tay

PS; A big happy birthday shout out to my brother! Eleven years old this Sunday!

PPS; Did I mention that Saturday night and Sunday morning will be filled with four fifth grade boys laughing and screaming and running everywhere? Bring on the Asprin...