Whatever

Okay... so apparently I was right in thinking that no one visits my site anymore. That's kinda depressing in a way, but yet I can't help but think of how releaving that is. Now I can go back to six months ago when I could post whatever the hell I wanted. Cool.

Alright, well, as for my previous situation... it really hasn't gone away. But now I've at least figured out that I think that it's better if I don't date this guy. Maybe being friends is just what we were ment to be and that's that. I just wish we could continue getting to know each other just as friends.

The biggest thing I hate about this is that I can't help but hope that something more will happen. I know it won't, but I'm just one of those people who don't like to give up hope. Normally it's a good thing, but in situations like this, I can't stand that about me. And all this time I'm wondering if this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Am I supposed to like him or am I supposed to try really hard to get over him? I just... UHHH!!! I HATE HIGH SCHOOL!!!

*takes deep breath* Fine. Well... in other news, I've got a Flag Corps competition this weekend (Saturday) and I'm pumped! Our routine is really hard, but really cool, and even though it's not perfect yet, I know it'll be amazing. So yeah. I'm really excited!

Umm.... not much else going on now... I've got a World Studies test on Friday (which I'm not looking forward to by the way) and some sort of French project due Friday too. Kinda been a busy week, but so far I'm not in too deep yet.

So yeah. Now I'm gonna go meditate and try to get my mind centered... on something other than my frusterating situation.

Craving Sour Patch Kids,

Tay

PS; I've also missed my summer boys a lot lately and I couldn't figure out why until recently. I think it's because sitting up with the older brother on his father's truck and watching our little brothers wrestle, I felt like I belonged and nothing else mattered in the world. All of my stress and all of my problems dissappeared and instead we would laugh at absolutely nothing. We made up stuff like 'lamp sized fireflies' and 'martin bugs' and stuff like that. I mean, really stupid stuff... but it didn't matter how stupid it was. Because it was us. And with us... it was okay to be a little stupid. God I miss that beat up old truck...

Old Exams and New Classes

So yes, I have come up with an idea, which, weirdly enough, I came up with in the shower yet AGAIN. That place is magic apparently. Or just the hiding place of the plot bunny. Either one.

So comments would be VERY appreciated. Even views or reads.... or ANYTHING! Come on people. You don't want me to beg, do you?

So enough about the new site, let's talk about exam results.

Let's just say that I did okay, but not great. All B's so far, and I still haven't gotten World Studies or Science back. I thought that was okay until I came home from school today and told my father, who didn't really even react, and then told my mother and basically bantered with her about my studying habits, and so yeah. I'm not exactly in the best mood right now, and it doesn't help that it's a full moon and my whole astronological clock is WAY out of wack, causing me to lash out at people and sink into a lull that won't seem to go away.

So lets just say that I really don't want to cry right now, so I'm just going to stop writing about this. New topic.

How about my new classes? Well, first is my new Study Hall, which sux btw. I don't sit my any of my A+ buddies, so I'm lonely and loveless. The only bright side is that I do sit by one of my French buddies from last year, so I'm not completely alone. I still felt lonely, though.

So then I had a different lunch period. It was actually better than I'd expected, but, again, because of my wacked astronological clock, I was tired and not really in the mood to deal with the drama that normally goes along with lunch. The bright side is that I'm the only girl (it IS a bright side, believe me), so that way I don't have to worry about more drama. Believe me, I get enough of that on my own.

Lastly, I had a new Photo Journalism class. I'm looking forward to making these journals my new teacher talked about, but I'm very lonely in that class. No one I'm close to is in that class and I'm going to be alone. Fun, but maybe it's a good thing that I have a class all to myself without anyone there to remind me of my dramatic and stressful life. Can you tell that I'm a little down right now? I guess my optimism goes out the window after having a day like mine.

Yeah, so that's me. I was just cheered up by my friend, though, who complimented some pics of mine, so I feel a bit better, but I could still use some chocolate if anyone's got any to spare...

Going to go listen to some inspiring lyrics and pray that they help,

Tay

Exams, Exams, and More Exams

I feel so burnt out right now that it's not even a little bit funny. I truely just want to crawl under the covers and stay there for the rest of my life.

Yesterday's exams went okay. Turns out Health was my hardest and I got a B on it (he told us), so I should at least get B's on the rest of the ones I took yesterday. Today I just have French, which I'm praying is mostly multiple choice and matching...

I'm terrified for tomorrow, though. Geometry shouldn't be impossible, but Science might be. I HATE Science with a burning passion and I don't understand hardly anything. I'm going to have to study my butt off tonight just to pass. Wish me luck.

I'm getting a migrane just thinking about all of this.

On a short fuse this morning,

Tay

I Want A Nap

I can hardly keep my eyes open at almost four in the afternoon. Something's seriously wrong here. I have been working for the past two hours and am really, really, really tired. Seriously, I think I'm going to go take a nap soon.

Exams are three days away and I'm going to be working my butt off until that point, so why can't I take a three hour nap until dinner??? Because I've got to study for PRE EXAMS FOR TOMORROW!!! The next twenty minutes are the only break I'm giving myself before I go back to the books. *yawns so big her mouth hurts* By the time this is all over, I'm going to be so tired that I'll probably fall asleep in the middle of an exam, and then I'll be screwed over for life. Great. No pressure or anything.

Plus, it doesn't help that I got, like, NO sleep last night b/c of my stupid cough. I swear, I've had it for like three weeks now, and it's STILL not going away. According to my mom, it could last another three weeks. Great.

The only plus side right now is that my favorite movie is on cable tonight at six. I'm recording it b/c of course I'll be too busy either studying, helping with dinner, or eating dinner to actually watch it. Thankfully I'm planning on stopping all of my madness at eight to watch it. Yeah, I'm going to crawl into a sweatshirt and sweat pants and curl up in a ball with a gallon of rainbow sherbert and probably sob my way through half of it (it's a very sad movie).

So. Yeah. That's my current situation. I'm also incredably alone right now b/c my parents had to take my bro to his b-ball game and I had to stay home and study. My only companion is my dog, who is currently curled up around my feet, trying to keep them warm (I never wear socks, so my feet are always freezing). So comments would be appreciated.

Slowly entering a dream world,

Tay

Exams And Everything That Goes Along With Them

Okay, so I officially HATE exams. In about fifteen minutes, I have to make a three page cheat sheet for my World Studies class, which is going to take FOREVER. I also have to make flashcards, though I don't really remember what for (which could cause a bit of a problem).

I missed a drama club meeting after school because I was so tired and distracted that I completely blanked, and didn't remember until my dad brought it up a half hour after it had ended.

I also had three quizzes and a test today. The test I actually think I did okay on, the first quiz I pretty much failed (but we take three a week, so they're really not worth much), the second quiz I actually aced, and the third quiz I honestly have no idea how I did on. In all reality, I'm pretty nervous about it, but I'm at least sure I passed.

And (if you can believe there's more), I didn't sleep well at all because of this stupid cough I've had for the past week. Instead of going away like I thought it would, it's just getting worse (I'll go into random fits now, and not be able to stop no matter how much water I drink) and now it's costing me sleep. I finally let my dad call the doctor, so I've officially declared war. Oh, it's on, bacteria, it's on.

So that's pretty much my day so far. I know, nothing positive, but it's hard to find positivity when you're too preoccupied with the pressure of exams. Hmm... something positive to say... how about the fact that I laughed today? That's positive, right? I mean, I always laugh in Science class (Jim and Claire know why, especially today). Ah, the wonder that is ninth period. It reminds me of my double period of social studies last year. Good times, good times...

Suddenly missing the simplicity of eighth grade,

Tay

An Actual Good Thursday!

So today was one of the few Thursdays that I actually enjoyed! I got the results of my band auditions back and I got to Symphonic Band!!!! YEY!!!! I'm super excited as long as the music isn't hard and I'm NOT first chair!! I don't think I could handle being first chair in Symphonic Band. Way too much pressure.

Also today I found out that I did really well on my auditions for One Acts (thanks Jim for completely making my day with that!!!)!!!! So now I think I can actually act, something that I never thought to try before. I mean, I thought about it, but it was always someone else's thing. I was one of the writers, not one of the actors, but in highschool I guess you can be both! I can't wait to find out what part I got!

However, on the down side, I also found out that I might get the part my bestest friend is trying out for. I didn't even ask to be assigned that role! I feel really bad about it and I hope I don't get it, but if I do, I'M SO SORRY!!! I TRUELY DIDN'T TRY TO GET THAT PART!!!!!

So anyway, now I get to go to work and get away from the madness that is my home life. My brother failed yet another quiz and my dad wasn't in a good mood to begin with. I'm so sick of my successes being overstaged by his failures. Ah well. I get to talk to Dad on the way to work, so I guess I'll finish my news then.

I've got an open note quiz tomorrow (I'll ace it) and a presentation to give in French (might need some work, but not a whole lot). Wish me luck!

Looking forward to seeing my students,

Tay

One Act Auditions

So yesterday I did my one act auditions and I think they went great! I presented my monologue, got some laughs from it, sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and did a cold read which was oober easy!!! I pray that I got the part I wanted, and if not her, than some decent part. But if not, that's okay too, considering I've got tons of time and other plays to try out for before I graduate.

I think we find out the results today, but even so, I wanted a snow day really bad b/c I had pep band last night after auditions which left like no time for homework. So now I've got to figure out how to present something in french and start and finish my Geometry and Science homework. Well I guess that's what study hall is for!

Crossing my fingers extra tight,

Tay

Things Are Looking Up!

So I got my Science test and got a B. I guess that's okay, way better than failing, but I'm still bummed because now I only have an A in that class and not an H. I guess I'll have to work hard to get that H on my next report card then.

I also found out that I have a low A in English which is totally weird because English is supposed to be my best subject considering I love to read, I went to State Finals for Power of the Pen, and I got a perfect score on my practice Proficiency Tests last year. Weird......

So I never did get that snow day yesterday, so I'm praying hard that we get one tomorrow, or at least a late start because then my Geometry quiz will be canceled. I will send vicious vibes towards the skies tonight when I meditate after my prayers.

I'm really excited because tonight I get to go shopping with my mom to get my Christmas gifts from my gma (my grandmother; I call her Gma). This year, Gma just sent us each a check for $150, told us to spend it all on something that we'll like, don't open it or use it, wrap it up, and then bring it to her house when we celebrate Christmas (we celebrate a week beforehand so she can get down to her winter house in Florida before the holiday rush). Personally, I like this method a lot better than her guessing and trying to shop for us with our lists. This way, I know what I'm getting, I know I'm going to like what I get, and then I don't have to pretend that I like something I don't...... or at least not from her......

So right now I'm in a pretty good mood. Little homework, I just got a call from one of my bestest friends ever (Kramer, you are getting a blogspot whether you like it or not!), and I'm going shopping tonight! Overall, my life is going pretty smoothly! Let's see how long that lasts........

Enjoying life,

Tay

Okay Day After All

Okay, so I'll admit that today wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The solo thing ended up being better than I thought and I think I'll get it with a LOT of practice. Plus, my friend who's doing it with me is just as confused as me, so I feel a bit better. I do have a lot of homework tonight, but I'll get it all done eventually. Panara for dinner (yum!!) and dad's home tonight, so overall, I think I'll survive. Just a lot of studying tonight and my study hall tomorrow will be definitely used, but other than that, I think I was just making a big deal out of nothing. As soon as tomorrow's over, I'll be fine. Plus, if I ace this Science test, I'll get my H back! I'm still mad that I flunked that pop quiz........

In a better mood than this morning,

Tay

Someone Save Me

So today I studied for a Science test I have on Tuesday (of which I have to ace or I'm screwed), I practiced the flute b/c I have my tryouts this week and an impossible solo to preform in a week (HELP!!!), and my family also got out Christmas decorations. I would like to say that I helped with this, but I didn't. All I helped with was getting Thanksgiving decorations put back up into our attic. But at least I helped, right?!

I'm about to enter a death week and I'm going to do so with a smile on my face b/c that's the only way I'm going to make my way through it! Wish me luck!

Fighting to keep my eyes open at 6:00 at night,

Tay