yeah, yeah, i know.

okay, hi everyone! i realize that i haven't posted in a while, but school ends tomorrow and i have a feeling that i'm going to have some time on my hands... at least for the next week, which i have off. so i'm posting an update.

first, and always most importantly in a girl's mind, my current romantic life. let's start juicy!

okay, well any and all guy problems i've posted here are irrelevant. over. done. even though they've been dead for a while, i just thought i'd re-enforce that. now, for the current situation; in march i went to state thesbian conference with a couple friends and while i was there i was introduced to a friend of a friend. he's a senior. a senior at a different high school than mine. and he's italian. let's just say yummy...

only there was a slight problem... he had a girlfriend. whom he was in love with. deeply. but they were having relationship issues. so okay, the whole trip him and i flirted and stuff and talked a bit. we exchanged numbers, end of story. he had a girlfriend and i told myself i wouldn't fall for him. that was working enormasly well.

and then she broke up with him.

he was a mess. he would call me and we would talk about it and yeah. i felt okay b/c i knew he was still in love with her. not a big deal, right? well then, you know the movie i'm doing? he tried out for it!!! and got a part!!! so i saw him. a lot. and we flirted. a lot.

i know most of you are probably like, 'wow tay, that's the perfect way to NOT fall for a guy.' but it was working. it truely was. his flirting helped me with my loneliness and my flirting helped him ease his pain.

and then after a while, our phone conversations changed. they became less about her and more about me. weird.

and then... we had our most recent read-through. lets just say that he and i were pretty much joined by the hip the whole freaking night. and we talked. a lot. i told him things. things i didn't really mean to ever tell him. and he understood. and BELIEVED ME!!! now THAT is weird.

and then, when i had to leave, he walked me to the door, i hugged him goodbye... and it was kinda like he wanted to kiss me, but i didn't let him. i said bye and ran out the door.

smooth taylor. really smooth.

so yeah. he and i have talked about it. i'm afraid of getting hurt and that's what would happen if we got together. but... we've pretty much said that whatever happens, happens. lovely.

so yeah. now i'm a bit confused and still not sure if i'm willing to let myself like him. it's all so weird.

alright, well that's my current situation. no other guy than the occasional flirt.

so now on to the topic of exams!!! i've taken three out of my five and have my other two tomorrow. i know, i know, i should be studying, but it's five in the afternoon. i have all night. and i've been studying for days. and i'm tired. and all i want to do is put in gilmore girls and fall asleep listening to their fast-paced dialogue and fantisizing about lukilei fluff...

well... i guess i'll do that later after i'm done studying. which will end up being tomorrow.

and i should call some people... including mr italian senior guy... but i hate the phone, so i guess i'll talk to people when i feel like dealing with everything.

wish me luck on my geometry and science exams tomorrow.

proudly wearing her artistic arms,

tay

The Office

I hope you all had a great Christmas! I know I did!

So, because I'm kinda sick about talking about Christmas, I'm going to go ahead and talk about what I did last night. So for the past few days, my brother and I have been watching The Office nonstop. I got the first three seasons and we've been particularly following this one couple and pretty much screaming at the TV for them to get together. Well last night, my brother was watching his new Simpsons episodes, so I was in a different room watching The Office. And all of a sudden, the guy from the couple just like proclaimed his love for her in the middle of the parking lot. I sat there dumbfounded and I just wanted to rip my hair out b/c she couldn't return the feelings because she's getting married!!! Then, he sees her again in the office after hours and without saying anything, he just goes up and kisses her. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen as far as TV goes. But then they still didn't get together and he transfered himself into a different office. I was really upset.

I think the best thing about this couple is the fact that they actually talk. They are, like, best friends and talk about pretty much everything. I don't think a lot of girls realize that guys can be the best friends if you give them a chance. And they won't always turn into something more, and I think that's the beauty of it. You don't always have to worry about having to deal with dressing up or looking good because they don't care. But if there is something, then the couple gets to know each other better then if they just started going out. I made that mistake with my last boyfriend and I'm not making it again.

God, I felt like I was dying last night...

Not exactly sure why I felt this way,

Tay

PS; I'll probably end up deleting this later when I'm thinking more clearly, considering I just got up.

Unfair Tests, Agreeable Ex's, and Lame TV Shows

So I did well on my World Studies Test and flute tryouts, but I don't know how I did on my Science Test. I studied hard last night and even harder during Study Hall, but I still don't know how I did. I have no idea. So I'm going to stop worrying about it and just forget about it.

So today my ex and I got along surprisingly well and I don't know why. I think we've come to an unspoken agreement not to fight, even though I love blaming things on him and he apparently loves doing things wrong and proving that he can make up for his mistakes. Don't even get me started on examples.

Anyway, so tonight I have two of my favorite shows on, new episodes of both, and one is the final elimination round! That's right! Beauty and the Geek!! My brother got me hooked on that show and he and I have laughed and laughed at the pure stupidity of the beauties and the cute and innocent act of the geeks. It really is a good show; one of the only reality shows I can watch without wanting to hurt someone (like The Bachelor). The other show is Reaper which I like just because it has humor, romance, and thriller all in one show. I'm a sucker, I know. Most of you probably think those shows are stupid, and they probably are, but for some reason, they are the highlight of my week and I am always bummed when there isn't a new episode on. Laugh at me all you want, but I guess that's just who I am.

And so I should probably finish my homework now before I completely fall asleep.

Missing the simplicity of summer more and more,

Tay