yeah, yeah, i know.

okay, hi everyone! i realize that i haven't posted in a while, but school ends tomorrow and i have a feeling that i'm going to have some time on my hands... at least for the next week, which i have off. so i'm posting an update.

first, and always most importantly in a girl's mind, my current romantic life. let's start juicy!

okay, well any and all guy problems i've posted here are irrelevant. over. done. even though they've been dead for a while, i just thought i'd re-enforce that. now, for the current situation; in march i went to state thesbian conference with a couple friends and while i was there i was introduced to a friend of a friend. he's a senior. a senior at a different high school than mine. and he's italian. let's just say yummy...

only there was a slight problem... he had a girlfriend. whom he was in love with. deeply. but they were having relationship issues. so okay, the whole trip him and i flirted and stuff and talked a bit. we exchanged numbers, end of story. he had a girlfriend and i told myself i wouldn't fall for him. that was working enormasly well.

and then she broke up with him.

he was a mess. he would call me and we would talk about it and yeah. i felt okay b/c i knew he was still in love with her. not a big deal, right? well then, you know the movie i'm doing? he tried out for it!!! and got a part!!! so i saw him. a lot. and we flirted. a lot.

i know most of you are probably like, 'wow tay, that's the perfect way to NOT fall for a guy.' but it was working. it truely was. his flirting helped me with my loneliness and my flirting helped him ease his pain.

and then after a while, our phone conversations changed. they became less about her and more about me. weird.

and then... we had our most recent read-through. lets just say that he and i were pretty much joined by the hip the whole freaking night. and we talked. a lot. i told him things. things i didn't really mean to ever tell him. and he understood. and BELIEVED ME!!! now THAT is weird.

and then, when i had to leave, he walked me to the door, i hugged him goodbye... and it was kinda like he wanted to kiss me, but i didn't let him. i said bye and ran out the door.

smooth taylor. really smooth.

so yeah. he and i have talked about it. i'm afraid of getting hurt and that's what would happen if we got together. but... we've pretty much said that whatever happens, happens. lovely.

so yeah. now i'm a bit confused and still not sure if i'm willing to let myself like him. it's all so weird.

alright, well that's my current situation. no other guy than the occasional flirt.

so now on to the topic of exams!!! i've taken three out of my five and have my other two tomorrow. i know, i know, i should be studying, but it's five in the afternoon. i have all night. and i've been studying for days. and i'm tired. and all i want to do is put in gilmore girls and fall asleep listening to their fast-paced dialogue and fantisizing about lukilei fluff...

well... i guess i'll do that later after i'm done studying. which will end up being tomorrow.

and i should call some people... including mr italian senior guy... but i hate the phone, so i guess i'll talk to people when i feel like dealing with everything.

wish me luck on my geometry and science exams tomorrow.

proudly wearing her artistic arms,

tay

A Quick Catch Up For Those Of You Who Haven't Been Around

Okay, so today both Kyle and Jimmy came back! I didn't have to be worried anymore! And Zack didn't sit w/us at lunch, which is good, but he sat w/my other guy friends, which is bad. And I think he knows I'm friends w/them b/c I remember freaking out when Claire was over there and I had to point the table out to him. So this could be very not good. But then again, I could be overreacting, so I'll just not worry about it (for now).

In other news, I got my haircut yesterday and it looked kinda cute today w/my mini-skirt, leggings, and cute top. At least, I was called cute on the bus ride home by my friend (guy).

Also my friend *cough*Claire*cough* is getting sick of me bringing up her relationship problems, but I can't help it! It's something that lets me get my mind off of my own stupid relationship problems, which I do have right now, choose to believe it or not. I hate dwelling on my romance problems when I already think about them 24/7.

So that's pretty much it for now.

Anticipating a sub from Subway for dinner,

Tay

Weird Day

So today I got into a fight with my brother (what else is new), but this time he said some things that really hit me and I realized just how big of a b**** I have been being these past few weeks. I mean, I've been under a lot of stress and everything, but I guess that's no excuse. So I apologized to basically everyone in my family who I had hurt and cried about a bucket of tears (again, something new?) for absolutely no reason. Today has been a strange day.

Not only that, but I've decided no more romance talk on here unless I get really serious. I mean, because of my luck with guys lately, it may be time for a long awaited break anyway. Maybe I should just stay single for a while and see how it goes. Or maybe not. I guess I'll just need a little convincing to get me back out there. But until a guy who can do that comes along, I think I'll just stick to drinking hot chocolate in my robe and slippers and watching a good chick flick.

Feeling weird,

Tay

Yet Another Pickle...

I have gotten myself into yet another pickle. See, the guy I like, likes one of my best friends. He is going to ask her out eventually, I know it, but I don't know what she'll say. She's interested in another guy and not really into the guy I like. I'm still heartbroken over the whole thing. So, venting my feelings, I wrote the essay below, only made it a LOT more dramatic. I'm not really that sad, but I like to write dramatically. I would like feedback please. It's not anywhere near as good as what I normally write, but I felt like writing it and it helped with my feelings. So please read it!

Miss Drama,

Tay