not-so-super-superman

sometimes unrequited love is the best kind.
maybe it's better to stare at the back of his head in french class or memorize every detail in his face when he's not looking.
maybe it's better to notice the little things about a person and not have to deal with the drama of it all.
just to sit and observe.
it's kinda exhilarating.

besides, it's when they start staring back that things get complicated.
then you have to deal with the talking, dating, awkwardness, etc.
and then the small observations go away.
the little things go unnoticed.
and we start forgetting why we were even attracted to this person in the first place.
forgetting why we were drawn to them.
why we started caring in the first place.

i'm not sure exactly where this came from.
maybe because today i found out that our stock market pretty much crashed again, and we should be entering another depression.
and as freaked out about this as i am, i'm more scared of the fact that the one person who i had to calm me down when i am this freaked out is gone.
gone.
and he isn't coming back.
he's done with me.
he's moved on.
and i guess i should too.

the sad part is that i thought i already had.

in the process of rebuilding,
tay