How Many Of You Are Truely Surprised?

I am sooooooo incredibly pissed off at the moment. One of my best friends is being such a jerk. My friend C and I have been freaking out for like a year about what we're going to do once we graduate, and I figured it out about a month ago, and she figured it out recently, like less than a week ago. But in order for her plan to work, she had to rearrange some classes. I supported her and said that it was okay for her to do this as long as she stuck to it and knew that this was something she really wanted to do. My other friend however doesn't believe she'll stick with it, says it's just a phase, and has continued to give her negative feedback. I could spit at him.

Then, yeah, there's more, because we're supposed to have rehersal together today and it's really important because it's the first with costumes, I asked him if he knew. He said he wasn't coming because HE DIDN'T WANT TO!!! He also used some excuse with his mom and something else, but nothing that would seriously prevent him from getting to rehersal. I'm sooooooooo PISSED AT HIM!!!! I just can't BELIEVE someone would do that. I just can't.

Okay, I need to change the subject before I say stuff that I'll regret. Alright, so yesterday my neighbor's grandkids from out of town came for a visit! I got to hang out with the older sister for about four hours yesterday afternoon and we played a LOT of Guitar Hero III, but then I had to go to a party for my father's work. After that, though, her two younger brothers, ages 11 and 13 came over and hung out with me and my younger bro. It was cool because while the 11 year old and my younger brother were playing some Star Wars game, the older brother and I got to talk. It felt good to be able to really talk to a guy. I haven't been able to for a while.

After they left I went to my meditation and sat there thinking that I haven't been able to talk to this guy I'm mad at in forever. He doesn't understand anymore. He's selfish now and conceited. I miss my best friend from seventh grade. The guy who would listen to us and, although he imputed his views, he still supported us and believed in us. Now I feel like he's gone and I don't have a guy to lean on anymore. I miss that.

So as I sat there, thinking about how it was easier to talk to this 13 year old than to one of my best friends, it really hit me how my good friend from out of town was a better best friend than this guy I've known since preschool!!! Not that that's crazy, I mean, this 13 year old is really a great guy and his girlfriend's lucky to have him, but it scared me I think.

So now I'm typing all of this and I find it weird that I'm not crying by now. I'm actually just sitting here and thinking that I'm going to go and hang out with some real friends today and not ones that put me down and don't believe in me.

Needing to call C and share my revelations,

Tay

PS; To any other friends who are reading this, he is the only one I'm mad at and the only one who hasn't been a good friend. You all have been very supportive and comforting and are truely some of my closest friends. Thanks guys!

PPS; I'll probably go back to being not mad at this guy in about a week, but right now, he's being a jerk. THIS IS JUST A VENTING SESSION!!! I do love him, he's just annoying me right now.